Well, I really don't know what to say. I haven't been this scared in a long time. I'm so terrified that by the end of this I won't have a room-mate for next year. More than anything I just want her to be OK, I love that girl. I am so worried that I did something, stupid fucking guilt complex. Maybe she read my previous entry and thought I was talking about her, all of these maybes and whatifs and terrible questions I can't answer. I can't eat anything at all... I tried and it just doesn't work. I feel too sick. I've been sleeping as much as possible to try to stay calm. Judy called though and was asking me questions so I'm going to take the note from Ben and get myself together and over to the hospital. God, explaining to her parents is going to be so hard, it always is. God this hurts so much, wasn't there something I could have tried to make her want to stay alive? When is this going to stop?
Please... just stay.