Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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Daydream.... I fell asleep amid the flowers...

I feel like a bitch but I feel incredibly anti-social and really dont want to do anything today. I am supposed to go to a party at Troy's with Nic and Annie, and Shane is supposed to come along but... who am I kidding? How will parties ever be fun for me? I can't drink, I can't smoke, I can't do drugs, and even if I could, who the hell knows if I even would? I just sit around and watch everyone else get blasted out of their skulls, completely unable to relate. Woo hoo.

Do I want to spend time with Annie and Nic? Yes, of course I do. I miss them, I miss college, but my mind keeps running over "What if I have an asthma attack?" .. I don't have my inhaler down here... "What if I have a low bloodsugar problem and they're too far gone to notice?" or more importantly, "What if I get uncomfortable, have one of my psychotic meltdowns and need to leave?" I wont have a car. If matt was here it'd all be fine...

I'm supposed to hang out with Cody tomorrow. I hope that doesn't fall through... I dont know why though. I just want to hug him a million and two times. Hmm... I need more glucophage, so I'll wait for my Dad to come home and get it. I was considering going to the school to get my t-shirt at around 3... but I don't want to. I hate Cambridge High School more than anything, I'm tempted to write to the school board with empty threats, in a feeble attempt to force them to improve. I haven't seen Carmen at all. I really dont care. Ellie is a lost cause, I give up on her. Mindy too... Why is everything in this town falling apart? Doug thinks it's because I was always the one that made the decisions, I was the strong one, and they modeled off of me, and when I left they latched onto other things[aka penises], and unravelled into complete strangers. So it seems there's a pattern. Fantastic.
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