Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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Loud Laughter + Distracting Movie + Crappy Weather = No Pages

So I'm kinda bummed. I feel like I got a good second start on my novel and I really wanted to keep working on it tonight but for some reason I just can't. I couldnt focus when Brita and Sandy were in here. They're both so loud, then Nic came in and it was hopeless. I dont mind entirely though, they're all nice people and I have no feelings of hostility towards them [well, except maybe for Sandy], I just wish I could have gotten more done. I really want to see where this will go, hopefully, by the time it's finished, I'll be liberated.

Tynan and Sandy fooled around on the weekend when I went home. He told me a couple nights ago but I felt that something was up when I got back. I really feel hurt and I know I probably shouldnt be and dont have the right to. Though, I was with him almost all of first semester and he told me he wanted to be with me, for fucks sake he told me he loved me... and then this semester starts and then he tells me he wants to take a break because he was too stressed. I guess I see what he was really getting at. It just really hurts. I hate seeing her in there, taking my place. Part of me wants to scream at her, especially since she's kind of turning into a "Shannon". Having fooled around with 3 different guys in a span of 4 days. She's also been hitting on Peter, apparently. Peter can hold his own though, but she corrupted my Tynan. It's odd, he treats me very differently now and I can tell I'm barely a part of his focus or life anymore. I feel forgotten. And I dont mean to be a bitch, but he even told me she's nothing compared to me, so why the massive step down?

I guess it doesn't really matter. I know he's not the one for me in the long run anyway. Plus, I am in love with Matt, but he's leaving and I'm lonely and I guess this just magnifies it. However, spring break I get to go see Cody, Chris, and Shane, and all those boys that make me feel like maybe I am something special. Sometimes it's so hard being up here.
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