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ma'am! sir! baby! child! whatever...

Jesus God Almighty, what a mindfuck. I suppose its true, no matter what, you really will never be albe to hate the person you love. I mean hell, after telling matt to his face that I hated him last night, today i called him and we are completely reconciled. It's as if nothing ever happened, and the aftermath of my earlier guilt complex is intense. It defies description, its left me quite unnerved, don't know what to make of the situation or sensations. He is going to read the letter and listen to the CD tonight, wonder how that'll go. I'm thinking it'll warm his heart while thinking that I'm a total cheese-ball nerd. But hey, what can you do?

Poetry class was cancelled today, which was wonderful for my slacking tendencies. I can really feel the effects of a good 40 hours without sleep. Matt told me I should go to bed and not wake up until 3 pm. Make sure that I'm well and rested, and in fine working condition. I copied all of my spanish workbook tonight, and I dont think I'm going to my guitar class tomorrow. I dont have the pieces learned... and we are being tested so... unless i wake up early and practice my ass off.... unlikely ... it would be best for my grade. Not that those really matter...

Faith is such a cool roomie... she likes - or at least tolerates - my freaky ass music. Today I actually feel like things are going to be ok. I know things could be better right now, but at the moment i'm alright. Some of my resolve is returning ... Annie really helps me a lot, I think we really help each other, I dont know what I'd do without her. It's so nice - and also horrible - that I have someone that relates. Matt told me he was really upset with himself when he woke up after 4 am... "the most important day of my life and I missed it." ... weird...

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