Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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i am not a beautiful or unique snowflake.

What a terrible movie to watch when you're already displaying potential for a negative disposition. I feel as though I won't smile for a few days. The more I observe, the more I feel unwanted and estranged. Matt too... it feels as though now that I am gone I have shifted from priority to annoyance. I feel like I've become a massive burden. Annie doesn't confide in me anymore, nor does she really even talk with me. I've been almost entirely forgotten in Cambridge but I suppose I don't really care, as I hated the majority of people there anyway.

Well, I really don't know what to do, kids. In my head my skin is rediculously pale and littered with blemishes and imperfections, my figure is disfigured, my mind is malignant, my friends have forgotten me, my family are fools, and humans are heathens. My only solace has been reading, zoning out in textbooks, mindlessly doing my homework and working ahead for lack of anything better to distract me from my thoughts or things that will provoke painful memories and responses. Maybe I need to stop being so fucking stubborn and just go get some medicine. Right now I want to drug myself out. 40 oz to freedom?
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