Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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when is it going to stop?

So, I can't get my mind to shut up. I can't make it stop telling me that I'm misinterpreting everything, people are only saying things so as not to harm me, nothing is genuine, etc. All I've been doing is reading nonstop and going sitting online looking for some form of comfort. I trust shane, I called him and he cheered me up but now that I'm off the phone I'm sinking back. I just want to go somewhere where things can be simple for awhile, that way i can take a step back and look at all this more objectively. I want to believe all of the things that matt said, I want to believe that he really does love and miss me, but this stupid defense mechanism is making me prepare to pull away. I just don't want to hurt again. I want people to tell me the truth all the time, as painful as that may be. I'm sick of all the masks, and lies, and bullshit. Nothing seems real...
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