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It's so bizarre being home for a month. I start working again tomorrow and am dreading it entirely. I don't want to be here at all, I can feel it seeping away my soul already. Nothing ever changes, and it needs to.

So they're throwing a Matt Kenseth Parade in the middle of fucking December, idiots. This is the town I am from, they throw a parade 2 days after christmas, for a guy that makes a living by driving around in circles. That's not the lot of it either, they're giving him a key to the town of Cambridge. Granted, that's not a huge honor because it's really nothing more than an insignificant microscopic speck that isn't even worth being put on the map, but STILL, since when does driving really fast in a circle make you a decent politician? The people here are demented.

I saw Cody today, god was that awkward. It was bizarre, like, I was really nervous to see him, and I dont know if it was good or bad nervous but I know I felt extremely uneasy. The "run away!" light was flashing. It was harmless though, he showed john the song he's writing about me and he played a lot of music for us and talked about his band... i didn't even get a hug until i left. That bothered me. It's logical to me that after not seeing someone for a good 3.5 months, especially your significant other, that you'd want to run up and molest them with affectionate hugs, but, apparently I'm the only idealistic romantic loser left. Whatever, I'm supposed to chill with him on Tuesday, and then I'll barrage him with questions... get this annoying little conundrum figured.

I really miss Tynan. I feel so isolated here, like I have no one to talk to. Matt is acting strange, so I really have no base here besides myself and my distractions. I've just been numbing myself out with warcraft. I want my best friend back...

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