Why the fuck did I come home? Oh, wait... that's right, because I could for free and because Matthew, wonderful dear Matthew, begged me to come home. I never should have done it, because of this I'm going to be way behind and shitty on my spanish speech because I'm an idiot and left my shit in the dorm... I am completely reminded why I left and ran the fuck away from here. This town never changes, it's disgusting. The people, their habits never change and I'm so sick of being hurt by them. He fucking begged me to come home and now I wont even get to see him. I was blown off by my boyfriend, who was oh so nice on the phone with me today though. I've been sitting at home doing literally JACK for a day and a half when I could have been back chillin' with Tynan, watched Jess perform, cleaned the dorm because it needed it... but no. I'm just too god damn quixotic to pull my head out of the clouds and realize that matt is never going to stop doing this little yo-yo trick with me. This place is never going to change, I swear to God... i've been here not even two days and I'm right back to where I was before I left, sitting at my computer crying while mom is upstairs wasted, wishing God would strike me down right now - have he any compassion. Well fuck that, I'm not coming home again until Thanksgiving when I dont have a choice.