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There's no place like home... fortunately

I really hate that my mom talks down to me like I'm a fool and then acts like I've hurt her feelings by taking offense. I'm not a fucking child, I know I'm smarter than she is and yet she still acts like I'm this naive uninformed mentally defunct individual that needs everything to be spelled out in triplicate. Also, then it always turns into this "you-never-handle-anything-right" arguement because we all know mother knows best. "You have such a sarcastic attitude, I dont know if that's the only way you view and approach things". Just yesterday I told her that I was going to write a formal letter of complaint to my school after I graduate. She, in turn, asked what said letter would entail. Therefore, I listed my reasons as any other cynical individual would in normal conversation, bluntly with a sardonic flare. "Oh you shouldn't say it like that. You have good points but but with your approach they'll never take you seriously. They'll just dismiss you." Like I'd be thick enough to say verbatim, "Mr. Kennedy is retarded, he has problems spelling five letter words for christ's sake... Idiot's should not be allowed to "teach"." No, me being the verbose indivudual that I tend to think that I am, would create something very ostentatious in nature to clearly and maturely portray my points. However, she does not know me or my capabilities which is exactly why that discussion always leads into the, "You dont respect me, you dont listen, you dont do anything right, you're a terrible daughter, I wish I never had you" drama in which she cries and tries to make me feel guilty yet again for being alive and inconveniencing her life. Well Mom, I'm sorry that you neglected me until now and then wonder why I have little more than contempt for you. I'm sorry if it "breaks your heart", but it's no picnic knowing that I "am a mistake" that you would change. Respect is a two way street.

Comments

ex_stoicism868
Apr. 17th, 2003 11:02 am (UTC)
hang in there. my mum used to say the same types of things about me, but since i've been in college, she's so happy to hear from me that she wouldn't do something like that, because she knows that if she did, she potentially wouldn't have any contact with me. that thought breaks parents' hearts :) i think when you go away, you'll both gain a different appreciation for one another...distance does make the heart grow fonder, after all. :)
virtuistic
May. 11th, 2003 09:30 pm (UTC)
somewhere over the rainbow...
yeah... i hope so. cuz.. um.. i'm in the process of being kicked out for being an untrustworthy bastard. but... half of me really dosn't give a flying flip, because i'm really sick of putting up with this shit and then the other half feels kinda bad. but... the asshole in me will now allow me to conform for the sake of my mothers acceptance because past experience leads me to believe it'll never be enough. I really dont quite know what to do.

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