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renewed obsession

constantly thinking about ian. waiting until noon. then shall call. he must be home. must be. has to be. actually no he doesnt. but please be there anyway. and have contacted home, so i can contact him. its hard to believe we have only been like officially going out for a month on friday. we havent talked in like 2 weeks. its depressing. i am so obsessed its SICK! and disturbing and wrong.! but it doesnt feel wrong i just feel codependent even though i know i can survive without communication and stuff like that it just isnt the road i would prefer. and what is the point of surviving if you have no purpose to survive for.? damn i miss him. ` sigh. BE HOME.! OR ELSE! ` rolls eyes at self

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