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quixotism or pragmatism?

I am a confused jumble of thoughts. I wish I would have recorded the memory of sunday - spare details - before tonight. I am exceedingly anxious and it only gets worse as the day goes on. Tonight, after work, Matt and I are going to Camrock 3 park ... alone ... because he has "something he needs to tell me". He "needs to talk". I am terrified. Thus, I'm chosing to recap so that I may temporarily revel in the memory of Sunday...

It all started with front row tickets to Peter Schickele and the Madison Symphony Orchetstra... I went to Matt's house after work to go out to lunch and see the show! However, Matt being the oh so cute kid he is was taking hours to prepare himself and left me to wait inside with his mom to converse for the extra 45 minutes it took for him to get ready. We had a pretty good conversation actually and I think think that she genuinely likes me, if not simply approves of me and will accept me as a candidate for possibly dating her son. I talked to his dad a little bit too, didn't get much in. Apparently he works with my mom and knows a hell of a lot about colleges seeing as he babbled about them for approximately 15 minutes straight, without breathing. However, Matthew finally descended the stairwell in the cutest outfit of black dress pants, the dress shirt and the tie. I finally figured out what ties are for! Originally I thought they were the work of some crude pervert who wanted a gigantic arrow pointing at his/her crotch. However, I have discovered that they are extremely useful! They are actually leashes! And they function as choke collars if the leashed individual is misbehaving... heh. Well, because of our late start we didn't get a chance to catch lunch so we decided to go to the olive garden after the show. The show, in itself, was completely amazing. My ribs hurt so much from laughing so hard. We were 5 feet away from Peter Schickele himself! The entire show was flawless and interesting and witty. I don't think we could have gone to a better one, however we're going to another concert of the sort on February 8th. It was so god awful cold, I hated myself for wearing a skirt. Matt and I need to go to state street again soon. Go to Noodles, yum! However we went to the Olive Garden for supper, always great food. Our waitor was extremely creepy, picked out all of matt's food for him but the white chocolate cheesecake was wonderful and so were our conversations. I love talking with that kid, each time it's such an enlightening experience. Anywho, afterwards we decided to go back to deerfield because we told shane that we would, and because Matt had given me 8 cds that I didn't want to lose. We went back to my house so I could change, stopped at Matt's house, Went to bill's, chilled. Then we decided, no, now is the time to leave because he had something he wanted to show me or a place he wanted to take me rather. however, being as cold as it was we ditched that idea, went back to my house and listened to Louis Armstrong, laid on my floor, played with the dog and fell asleep together for 2 hours. It was surreal. My parents even came home when we were home alone with all the lights off and didn't say a damn thing. Didn't ground me for leaving and not coming back until 45 minutes later. Damn, we need to reinact this. I can't put it all in words, just must videotape. Anyway, I have three quotes from that night that I want to remember. They are as follows...

"I couldn't chill with anyone else like this, listening to jazz, just chillin'."

"I should do this more often, relax with the wife and the dog..."

"Promise me you'll stick around, you wont go anywhere."

Shane says that he thinks he's going to ask me out tonight. I honestly hope so. However, getting my hopes up isn't something I want to do. I dont want to fall.

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