Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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What the hell, Dreamland?

I'm trying not to feel like too much of a bum for waking up at 2 p.m., but I was tummmy-cranky yesterday and couldn't really go to sleep until about 6 a.m. I hope that means it's OK for me to sleep well into the afternoon. Anyway, last night I had one of the strangest dreams of my life and I have no idea what this means, Freud.

I was in Minneapolis, but it was broken up by giant marshes that you either had to drive around or over on bridges or go through on boat or foot, both of which were somewhat dangerous because there were -- seriously -- mutant creatures running around in there. There was an orange bird-man sort of thing, there was super squat but uber powerful half lizard-half frog with the fattest, most muscular tail ever. I really don't know, you guys. I just don't.

But that's not the weirdest bit. In the beginning of my dream, my roommate and I decided to go out so we decided went to a super swank restaurant for a while and waited for her sister. Julie, in turn, shows up with a bunch of foot-in-sock, frosted sugar cookies, proclaims that she's pregnant, and literally skips away. Suddenly the group we're with is all aflutter about it, so I wriggled free and went up to the bar to get a new drink and I met Leonardo DiCaprio. No, I don't understand either.

He's alone, just in town for a few days auditioning for something and we start talking a little bit. A lot of bit. No fangirling, no gushing -- just calm, casual conversation. Katie comes over to ask where I've gone and then tries not to lose her shit that I'm talking to a movie star, and she tells me they're going to go to find Julie. I decided to hang around with Leo, and she didn't mind, because duh, OK?

A good portion of this dream was conversation, and I remember I told Leo that his eyes, in person, were very telling and that he has no poker face. He laughed and said, "Of course I have a poker face," and then he took a breath and just wiped his face clean of emotion. And I countered with, "Yeah, when you're acting, but you as a person do not. I can read you like a book." I guess he was kind of touched by that, because he asked to hang out with me again and we made plans for me to show him my favorite spots around the city on like, a Wednesday or something. He was very enthusiastic about it.

Then I offered to give him a ride to his hotel instead of him taking a taxi... aaaand we crashed into the swamp. We built a platform out of the water in some shallows by a rock pile but for some reason I wasn't terribly scared. He was pretty shaken, but wasn't mad at me -- he was actually grateful for my platform knowledge and credited me with saving his life. We got out of it without being attacked by mutants, but I woke up when the rescue party came.

So, yeah. My friends use body-part shaped cookies to announce pregnancy, I met Leo DeCaprio and he likes me even though I crashed my car into a mutant-filled swamp. That's how my dreams roll.

Despite all this weirdness, however, I think last night might have been the best sleep I've ever had. As the Good Doctor says, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."

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Tags: wtf
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