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Uncalm

Once I get a message from you, I get all edgy. My minds racing but you know I'm not ready

I'm home sick, I feel really dried out now that i've started taking medicine. My throat kills, my brain is going insane. It wont let me concentrate on anything but this stupid thing with me and Matt. Don't forget to throw Darcy in there...ugh.

It's like you and me on Plymouth Rock embarking on a journey that I never thought would happen to me so effortlessly. Sparks flying, your laughter is a symphony.

Everything used to be so cool. Chillin' at shanes house, chillin' at my house and watching lame movies and cuddling. Going over to tosha's house and watching another lame thing on TV and just having an insanely good time. I could have told him anything. The kind of stuff I can't even write on here. I thought I could open up to him and have him comprehend in some way. His mind is still beautiful, I miss talking with him. I miss cuddling with him and everything too but I'm doubting that will happen anymore.

On the scales of desire your absence weighs more than someone else's presence.

I don't want to believe any of what my mind is thinking. I dont want to think that I was just used again, I was just backup entertainment. I was just a way to pass the time. Again, everything I knew was just a lie. Fool that I am thought he could have cared. I hear he "misses me". He called me a few days ago, I couldn't bring myself to call him back. I'm too afraid. I wish things were the way they were and I was still in the dark. That'd be better than this. He hasn't tried calling since then, and I guess it doesnt matter. He called her first anyway.

From chaos comes clarity, what you appear to be. You ought to know glycerin tears don't fool me. Delusions plaguing everybody

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