Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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So what if Satan's sterile...

It's official, y'all... ashendi and I are bringing forth the Antichrist.

ashendi: Just out of curiosity, if I become a yellow journalist, can we still be friends?
virtuistic: of course.
virtuistic: but I might cane you in the streets.
ashendi: Cool.
virtuistic: which, I assume, is part of the appeal for you?
ashendi: I was also thinking of something else, but I tried the Gonzo Anthropologist approach and it doesn't work.
virtuistic: yeah. Anthropology doesn't really lend itself well to phsycotropic hallucinogens.
ashendi: Busting down a native's door, grabbing him by his cowri shell necklace, and shouting "TELL ME YOUR CULTURE YOU BASTARD" doesn't work well.
virtuistic: especially with the language divide.
virtuistic: Oh god. We should have kids.
virtuistic: and unleash them on the planet.
virtuistic: And then just sit back and watch as they tear down the sky with their claws.
ashendi: We both have the worst genes on the planet.
ashendi: Our child would be a lovecraftian horror.
virtuistic: but we have such high concentrations of spite
virtuistic: i think it might overcome DNA.
ashendi: We'd need a surrogate since I'm pretty sure it would chew it's way out.
ashendi: With it's dagger teeth.
virtuistic: Oh, definitely.
virtuistic: I would expect nothing less for it to suckle on the necks of cows.
ashendi: It would probably turn into a slightly larger monster on the full moon.
virtuistic: Sprout a little additional fur...
virtuistic: But, I would have to say that I would be extremely disappointed if it wasn't fatally poisonous in some way.
virtuistic: Not asking for much.
virtuistic: Maybe just spines.
ashendi: Well, scorpion stingers run in my family.
virtuistic: Thank God.

If you're really lucky, we'll have twins. A fatally beautiful amoral twin and a 9-eyed reptilian beast with a heart of gold and the desire to become a priest.

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Tags: assorted hilarity, friends, wtf
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