Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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I wish it didn't hurt, hurt like this...

I fucking hate snow. I hate winter. It has this amazing power to point out just how amazingly alone I am. Pisses the hell out of me. But hey! My parents let me sleep in this morning. I walked out of my room and practically threw up on the new carpet...contained myself though and they were like, here go lie back down. blah blah but I have three, count em THREE tests today. Who the hell gives tests on a monday? Math teachers! That's who does! Crazy, mean, psychotic, cruel, maniacal math teachers. I dont think they have souls. They are demons that have posseseed what once may have been human. But hey, i'm done with one test and now i can take these neat online quizzes. Damn, another tie.

What kind of Drug Addict are you?

Basically, your favorite phrase is "Kiss my ass." You are cynical, negative, and annoyed. Nothing amuses you or holds your attention. You wouldn't mind a couple extra hours of sleep. Sometimes you just don't know how to deal with all the extra, pointless crap that life throws at you. Hang in there, kiddo.

The world is full of crap. Definitely full of crap. Yeah, well, I am retarded too because I jumped the gun. Slap me with a splintered ruler. I shouldn't have asked, I should have just been patient and waited for him to ask me but no. Patience is not my virtue. So yeah, yesterday I asked Matt out and didn't get an answer. I don't know how to take it but, in the world of me, "I need some time to think about it" is a blow off. But I dont understand. Me being unable to be eloquent, basically said,
Me: Matt, I like you.
ME thinkie.o0(I like you? What the fuck? Way to keep cool. Can you dazzle him with words and intellect a little bit more?)
Him: I like you too. [hug hug huggle]
ME thinkie.o0(woah, what the hell? Um, shit, now what?)
Me: Um, I guess what I'm saying is that I really want to ask you out and I guess I am.
ME thinkie.o0(way to go. Shoot yourself in the foot. okay, say something please. please say something.)
***long silence***

Then, seeing as we were outside when I asked him and we live in the wonderful state of wisconsin I started shivering. He offered me his jacket and hugged me and stuff and i'm like, um, k? And he said that his parents were coming and he doesnt know what to say at the moment because he's "retarded, stupid, dumb, and a fool". I dont understand. Very confused. He told me he had to go inside and talk to bill before he left but that he'd call me at Tosha's. He gave me a hug goodbye and a bunch of pleading looks and kept complaining about his nervous habit of fidgeting. I didn't know I was that intimidating. I dont know what to think.

What kind of Drug Addict are you?

You are known for being a bit on the weird/insane side. You LOOOVE to party around and go crazy with close friends. You do have some down times from your activeness. You are either jumping up and down or frozen like a statue. Sometimes you feel like you can't control yourself.

Yeah... I have had lots of people tell me that he does like me. Thus the reason for further confusion. He quit his job for me, he called me 4 times on saturday just to talk for hours. Tried to come to see my play again. Wont give me a straight answer. Tosha's theory is because I guess he's still technically "with" Darcy and he went home to call her and tell her to fuck off. He doesnt like her at all, he's just with her to keep her and his mom from bitching at him. I dont know. I just feel bruised.

I've been waiting for a good day, I think I've held this long enough. And it feels like, I'm at an all time low, slightly bruised and broken from our head on collision. I've never seen this side of you, another tragic case...
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