But I want his wings.
I can shine even in the darkness,
But I crave the light that he brings.
Today, overall, was most excellent. I'm actually mellow without being depressed for once. Although I feel a little, uncertain and unfinished. I might as well explain myself. At least on here I wont be scorned, unlike with my so called friends here. Thank god for Tosha, Shane, Phil, and Bill though. Anyway, story time.
I can love,
But I need his heart.
I am strong even on my own,
But from him I never want to part.
Today I worked from 6:30-2 and that was a pleasure. The dishwasher was broken but I did not fret because I had hope - and butterflies - because Tosha and Shane and Matt and I were planning on going to go see Stealing Harvard. It was gonna be all double date like but I was feeling really shy and I made Tosha call to remind Matt cuz I'm a freaking dork. Ugh, I'm like a snowball in hell over him. I just melt. He agreed and stuff but he told me be could only go if I could take him to work, and seeing as he works like a block away from the movie theater he knew I'd say yes. Man, he's attractive too. I mean rawr. Not to mention that he smells really really good. Everything about him, he is so smart it's crazy. I think he has a larger vocabulary than I do! He loves Jazz, Classical, Radiohead, and plays the piano beautifully. When he plays Karma Police I almost cry. Also, he isn't discriminative! He has an amazingly open mind. He even goes out of his way to understand things, he'll walk between sides in a demonstration to understand both points of view. He's a straight guy and he doesn't discriminate against homosexuals!!! 'N' he's a soccer player! Reow! Yeah, anyway... After work I went home and changed clothes so I could make sure I didn't smell like coffee and/or look like poo. Put on my sliced up wifebeater cuz i wanted to be comfy..threw on my hoodie... put my hair up with a colored pencil...and out I went, picked up Tosha, filled up with gas and then went and picked up Matt. :D We picked up shane and I was shy but we were kinda flirting and whatnot but when we got to the cinema the second we got out of the car his hand found mine and I couldn't stop smiling. Stealing Harvard was no longer available so we saw The Ring and he's all, "You can hold onto me. Uh... you know... if you're uh... scared." I shivered and he was all, o0o you have the chills! I'm thinking, yeah get over here so I can cuddle with youuuu! I seriously wanted to just rip out the arm rest/cupholder doohicky. However, we settled for holding hands through the whole thing and I rested my head on his shoulder and he in turn rested his head upon mine and it was surreal. It was so weird because we'd make little comments to each other and it would always be exactly what the other person was thinking. Anyhow, the movie was really weird. I mean, it wasn't bad but it isn't a movie I'd see twice. Not because it's exceptionally scary either, just because it's too...odd. However, we left with about a half hour to kill before Matt had to go to work so we went to Toys 'R' us and ran amuck. We found a few electric scooters and lightsabers. It was great, but time unfortunately flies when you're having fun. I really wished shane and tosha wouldn't have been there when I had to say goodbye to matt cuz I really wanted to kiss him. =/ That's why I feel unfinished. Like we were just left hanging, he gave me a really nice hug and all. It's not that I'm not satisfied with today, because I am, I just wish I had more guts. I really like him. Damn him. Rawr.
I need sleep.... but I musn't forget to write about the drunken bowling experience... or matt's excellent use of the lyrics from "Creep". Again I say it, I am a snowball in hell for that boy. I want nothing more than to cuddle up with him now... *sigh* I'm hopeless...