Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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Capsule Review: Hellboy II

It's sad you couldn't come, Dom. I would've liked your input. Nevertheless, here's mine. Spoilers beyond the jump.

41. Hellboy II: The Golden Army

I can't say I expected it to be great. I, in fact, expected it to be formulaic and I was anticipating several sections of groaner dialogue. I also expected it to be gorgeous, and boy was it ever.

Guillermo del Toro makes beautiful movies. Unfortunately, he also makes movies that I never need to see more than once. He has an aesthetic for the odd that is breathtaking. He puts eyeballs in weird and beautiful places and there seems to always be some eerily lovely monster that eats flesh. I want him to make sculptures.

That being said, back to Hellboy. Now, nothing quite screams "pet project" like when a director also writes the story and the screen play. These seldom make good movies.

Couple that with the fact that the foreshadowing was a little overdone1, the dialogue delivered the expected groaners, and that the ending was really predictable and suddenly you have a movie that is little more than a visual feast that I would only watch once more on the sole condition that it be viewed in HD and with alcoholic beverages.

Speaking of alcoholic beverages, the best scene in the entire movie was when Hellboy and Abraham sat in front of the fire, lamented over their intense love for their respective ladies, and crooned a crappy love song at the top of their lungs while getting fiendishly drunk on Tecate. We're talking off-pitch bellowing that resonated through the entire facility. That was lovely.

Otherwise, I thought it was really predictable and anticlimactic -- not that there was much of a build of suspense to begin with. I knew how the movie would end the second the twin's connection was revealed. Still, it was pleasantly paced, the fight choreography was stellar, and the entire film was pleasing to the eye. Although, the spineless commander of the ridiculous bureau was really, really, really annoying.

Otherwise...That's all I got.

1 How many times do we have to show one twin getting hurt and the other suffering the exact same injury before we know they're both going to die? I counted 4.


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