And it keeps getting worse! Why me, O God?
Speaking of "Why God?" ...
EEEEEEEWWWWWW! I don't even know what I would do in that situation. I imagine it would follow a format similar to:
The following scenario assumes one was seated on the john when the TP was annexed by the arachnid.
- Scream like a horror-movie actress.
- Excrete some form of waste matter out of fear instead of necessity.
- Grab bottle of shampoo from shower tower.
- Attempt to smash spider, which would of course roll off the back of the TP and scuttle aggressively toward me.
- Leap into shower stall.
- Trip on downed trousers.
- Hit head on tub faucet.
- Pass out.
- Wake up with spider on face, having been attracted to the scent of blood.
- Die of fright.
Yep. That sounds about right.