Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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Thoughts On "SmartOnes" Micro-meals

So I've been working at a desk job for awhile now, or at least a job where I have an 8 hour day and an employee break room equipped with a ridiculous amount of microwaves.

The easiest thing to do is grab a box out of a freezer and hop in the car and go to work. The added advantage of this is that Lean Cuisines, SmartOnes, and South Beach micro-meals have fairly low caloric counts and therefore make you feel like you're eating something healthy.

Now, I think the calorie counts are so low because the portions are effing tiny. I never feel full after eating one of these things unless I ingest the whole thing in under a minute, but I'm rarely that ravenous. But they're low in calories so I don't feel bad for chowing down on a bag of popcorn later.

However, in my many months of experience eating Lean Cuisines and South Beach meals, I've noticed some differences between them and the Weight Watcher's SmartOnes.

With the former, there are typically way more vegetables. If you get a Lean Cuisine meal that features meat, you will probably get four pieces of some substance that is probably made of corrugated cardboard and a cup and a half of over-steamed broccoli. With South Beach, you should just be prepared for a crapload of veggies and rice, since that's pretty much what they're all about anyway.

SmartOnes typically have more flavor, more meat product, and less calories. I was just pondering how this could be possible, and I think I figured it out.

They zap the calories to death.

Every Lean Cuisine or South Beach meal I've cooked (at full power, some call for 50% and then it takes longer) have taken 3 minutes or less. Every single SmartOnes meal takes at least 4 minutes on high, and by the time those things come out they're freaking nuclear.

It's a well known fact that microwaves kill nutrients... so I think the SmartOne's meals just burn through the calories with radiation, and I will probably get cancer from eating this. Or start glowing in the dark.

But the Chicken Enchiladas Suiza meal is actually quite tasty...

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Tags: calorie contessa, foodstuffs
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