Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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There is a presidential election looming on the far horizon. Bearing that in mind, I have sound political reasoning that will help ease your decision by removing a contender.

Do NOT Vote for Hillary Clinton.

This is not about my distrust of her sincerity. Nor is it really even about her downward-spiraling campaign1. It's about math.

I know, I know. I am the last person you would have expected this from, but hear me out.

The last time we had a White House without a Bush or a Clinton in the oval office was way back in 1989. That was 18 years ago. This means that every single person under the age of 18 has never known a White House that has not been under the rule of a Clinton or a Bush, two prominent political American families. Think of every single high school, most college freshmen, and our newest round of voters. Not a single one of them has experienced anything other than Bush, Clinton, Bush2.

If that doesn't make you want to throw up in your mouth a little bit, you just wait.

If Clinton were to get elected, we would have to push that age group back to every American under the age of 2231. If she got re-elected, the age group would need to be pushed back to 26. That's over two and a half decades, and over one third of the average American life expectancy4 spent under two alternating families in power.

Do you taste the bile yet?

Think about future generations of children who will inevitably be forced to recite the order of the presidents. When they get to the 90s, suddenly they have Bush, Clinton, Bush, Clinton5? Not on my watch, America.

Just think about the numbers. Then think about how going from father to son, husband to wife6 would be veering dangerously near monarchy. And we all know that democracy just won't stand for that sort of thing.

Moral of the Story:

Variety is the spice of life, people. Diversity makes us strong. So do what's right, and don't vote for Hillary.

1 Now complete with hostages and officials who verbally attack the character of her political opponents!
2 Technically Bush, Clinton, Clinton, Bush, Bush.
3 Now with a bunch of legal drunks knowing only Bush, Clinton, Bush, Clinton!
31 That's twenty-two, not twenty-two cubed.
4 According to CNN, the average American life expectancy for a child born in 2004 is 77.9 years.
5 Potentially Bush, Clinton, Clinton, Bush, Bush, Clinton, Clinton?
6 Technically Father, Husband, Son, Wife.

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Tags: creative solutions, from ur friendly neighborhood journalist, not okay, omg, politics, waxing op-ed
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