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Hello, one and all. Thank you to all of you who have stayed with me over this long sabbatical. I promise to you now, I am returning to the el jay! To commemorate this, I am jumping in with a long-overdue (it's been a full year!) News Roundup! Let's go, shall we?

It's a Good Week for the Justice System

BOO! Ha! Gotcha!
  • Not all journalists are brave, as evidenced by these Halloween hijinks at the news desk.
  • Even George Bush knows that Cheney is so evil, he doesn't need a Halloween costume. So instead, Cheney owned up to being the Darth Vader of this administration, by dressing his dog up for Halloween.
  • Homeowner hide-n-seek results in law suit. Secret Mold room makes itself known with a hand-written note from the previous owner reading, "You Found It!"

Great Inventions of the 21st Century
  • Good news for bullied nerds world-wide! There is now Wedgie Proof Underwear! Soon to come, swirly-proof headgear.
  • Speaking of toilets, women who apparently take flying butt-leaps into the toilets and fail to notice that their male co-habitators have left the toilet seat up can finally stop falling into that porcelain pond. A too-oft scolded 9-year-old in Iowa has invented the Privy Prop for the "up-standing urinators" out there.

Eeks for Entertainment

Cash Cows

Technological Advances

Bad News Bears

Holy What-a?

What the Hell?

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