Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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End of the Line or End of the rope?

It's been a long, long semester. I'm finally on the last lap, coming up on the end of this extremly fast-paced race.

I can't believe college is over. I can't believe the University is giving me as much grief as it is my final semester when the rest of my time here was so easy. I can't believe once I'm done with this irritating IDL course, I'll never have homework again.

Well... that's not necessarily true. Is a journalist's homework ever really done? Not for me at the moment. I'm subsisting on freelance work andapplying for jobs like it's going out of style (which, coincidentally, it is).

Technically I'm graduated, but I still have a few hurtles to clear. I've taken care of most of the requirements listed on my bogus "lack of requirements for graduation" letter. The amendments are being added, the grade-base will be changed. The only thing that could possibly go wrong is that the paperwork takes too long and I can't get my diploma until August. Granted, my IDL course is one a major bummer right now, but I'm confident that I can get it done before Tuesday.

But this is it, man. I have a four-year degree, and I now I need to go become a productive member of society, or else I will be broke and homeless. The anarchist rebel inside me is furious right now. There are 8 hundred million more things I could be doing with my life right now, instead of trying to get a scrap of paper the Man wants me to have so that I can spend the rest of my adult life hacking away at mindless tedium while the world goes to hell in a handbasket. Seriously.

I don't want to be a worker bee. I don't believe in "trickle-down" contributions. This system doesn't help anyone because it robs everyone of their time. Isn't there more than this? (Am I seriously having a mid-life crisis at 22?) When did adult life become so monotonous and sterile? Working a 9-5 five days a week doing work that probably doesn't really matter in the long run, spending Saturday tidying up the house you barely even live in and maybe spending Sunday afternoons relaxing. Saving up sick days for vacations...

How many hours of the only life we have are we spending in this little routine because of organized society? A group of structure and products and procedures we don't even begin to need. we are killing ourselves to support it. People, especially in this country, spend their lives over-stressed, under-slept, and for what? For a few extra dollars to buy that Lexus that will break after 100,000 miles?

I was thinking about the last post I made, about swimming at night and how I was supremely happy to be alive. Now I wonder why that sort of thought is something I had to remember. Why is it an "oh, that's right! It's great to be alive! I had almost forgotten!" situation? I don't know, but life is too short to only be enjoyed briefly and at intervals.

Maybe I just need a vacation.

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Tags: angst, rant, school, work
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