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My brain takes the magic out of it...

Okay, so I'm watching Chamber of Secrets, right? Well... sort of. I'm not really paying attention because I'm working on a few things, but that's not the point. Anyway, I look up, and I see the part about Tom Riddle's diary, and a few things popped into my head.

  1. Voldemort has been around for a long time at this point. Surely we know that he is Tom Riddle. Surely, everyone in the wizarding world knows that Voldemort is just a scary moniker. Right? Part of me is willing to accept that because what he did was so disastrous, and people won't even speak his name, that the younger generation might only know him as the bad, bad man that scares the everliving, magical feces out of their parents... but really? Really?
  2. The Chamber of Secrets was open 50 years ago? Really? Something about this math upsets me greatly. Is it canon? I don't have time to look it up and it's been 8 million years since I've read Chamber, but I thought early in the movie they said "30 years" ago. Anyway, 50 years means that the students who lived during the first opening are still around, possibly parents of these kids... so um, what?
  3. Furthermore, didn't Draco say his Dad was at school last time? Even if Draco's father was a first year, that means he was eleven 50 years ago. Does Luscious Lucius look 61 or older? Did he seriously father a child in his 50s? I sure as hell don't think Narcissa did.
  4. Also, if Voldemort was celebrating his sweet sixteen 50 years ago, then he's a feckin geezer now. And granted, he's been a fine, rejuvenating mist for a good decade or more, but even if you subtract those years he's pushin' 60 and therefore distictly un-frightening. No one is afraid of a geriatric. Maybe I'm an ignorant fool, but my Voldemort is still young and spry in his mid to late 40s. Seriously. "Over 50" is code for "feeble and practically harmless." For over 60, get rid of the practically and exchange feeble for fragile.
  5. So if Dumbledore was a professor 50 years ago, and he looks about 45 then, is he pushing 100 and we totally acknowledge this? Are we down with that?
  6. I REALLY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS 50-YEARS-AGO BUSINESS. I am also unwilling to suspend my disbelief.


Am I the only one? What do you guys think?

ETA: The "Who's Your Daddy? - Hagrid!" thing at the end of this movie still makes me want to stab myself in the throat. What the hell did he do that he deserves a standing ovation from the entire school? Why does Hermione cry now that he's back from Azkaban. I wasn't aware that any of Hogwarts gave half a damn about Hagrid except for the trio. UGH.

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( 54 comments — Leave a comment )
wonky
Nov. 22nd, 2006 01:36 am (UTC)
JK Rowling sucks at her math. LMAOO
virtuistic
Nov. 22nd, 2006 01:41 am (UTC)
Clearly! Either that or Kloves is even more of a damn idiot than I orinally thought which is actually saying something, because I loathe that man and am SO glad he's out of my fandom! (at least for the next movie, anyway.)
pennyxblossoms
Nov. 22nd, 2006 01:45 am (UTC)
3. I think he asked his dad, but he didn't know much because he wasn't at school 50 years ago. I'm not quite sure though.
4. Voldemort first went to Hogwarts in 1938. He opened the CoS in 1943. Yes, he's quite old (dates from HP Lexicon).
5. JKR gave Dumbledore's age at "about 150" (HP Lexicon).

virtuistic
Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:14 am (UTC)
And like I said before, I'm willing to accept that Dumbledore is a dinosaur because he was good pals with the alchemist of immortality...

I'm trying to remember now ('cause I don't want to skim through the movie again) if Malfoy ever says anything about his dad being there, or if I'm just getting that from Ron's theory that Malfoy's Dad did it and then told Malfoy (but it still makes it SOUND like they believe Luscious is old enough to have been there...) but it still really irks me.

(no subject) - pennyxblossoms - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:21 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - virtuistic - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:22 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - pennyxblossoms - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:24 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - virtuistic - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:38 am (UTC) - Expand
bludger
Nov. 22nd, 2006 01:47 am (UTC)
I LOVE FINDING INCONSISTENCIES. It makes me feel so observant. Also, it makes me cackle to think that someone (whether it be JKR or Kloves or whoever) just really sucks at basic math.

And I don't know - I think I'd be pretty frightened of a seventy-year-old with no nose if he started beating me with his cane.
virtuistic
Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:10 am (UTC)
You mean "tapping" you with his cane. ;)

I've been hit by canes before, and even with gravity it doesn't hurt that much.
(Deleted comment)
virtuistic
Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:08 am (UTC)
Yeah! And the HP Lexicon says he was born in 1954. Soooo.... wtf? Now I'm trying to remember if it ever says that Lucius was at school when it happened or not.
(no subject) - virtuistic - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:11 am (UTC) - Expand
rhapsody
Nov. 22nd, 2006 01:50 am (UTC)
Well Tom went to school during 1938 to 1945. Dumbledore defeated Grindlewald in 1945. So really that would be more than 50 years since CoS took place in 1993.

Also Dumbledore is more like 150. If I remember Wizards/Witches can live longer than those without magic. Not sure why though.
virtuistic
Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:02 am (UTC)
And with Dumbledore I'm totally willing to accept it, because he was friends with Nicholas Flamel, who clearly had the life juice.

But... I don't know. I just... I don't ever remember reading that witches and wizards live longer. Lucius, according to the Lexicon was born in 54... and Narcissa in 55... so they weren't even alive when it was opened initially.
(no subject) - rhapsody - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:42 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - virtuistic - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:56 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rhapsody - Nov. 22nd, 2006 05:31 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - virtuistic - Nov. 23rd, 2006 06:20 am (UTC) - Expand
tis_arse
Nov. 22nd, 2006 01:54 am (UTC)
I think people age differently in the wizarding world. Dumbledore was like 150+ or something when he died. I dunno, www.hp-lexicon.org should be able to tell you more but I'm pretty sure I remember reading about Dumbledore being really ancient in the books.

you know what I always think about when I read/watch Harry Potter?!

How the fuck to half-giants exist?!? I mean, ouch. Especially if Dad was giant and mom was human.
virtuistic
Nov. 22nd, 2006 01:56 am (UTC)
*wink*
C-sections, I suppose. Conversely... Hagrids Mum had sex with a human? Why? Was it even remotely satisfying for a giantess? Wouldn't she just as soon have crushed him than copulated with him?

And Hagrid's father... did he just have a fetish for large women? 'e just couldn't get enough, evidently.
notashamed
Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:03 am (UTC)
HP Lexicon is NOT helping me find a date for the first opening. Bastards.
(Anonymous)
Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:06 am (UTC)
Well, in the movie it says like... June 13th, 1939 or something... which is dumb (and even in the book it says halfway through the month of June, which is DUMB J.K. BECAUSE THESE KIDS HAVE SUMMER BREAK D00D.)
(no subject) - virtuistic - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:07 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - notashamed - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:08 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - virtuistic - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:17 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - notashamed - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:25 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kathleendoris - Nov. 22nd, 2006 05:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - boho - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:36 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - notashamed - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:07 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - notashamed - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:17 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - virtuistic - Nov. 22nd, 2006 02:20 am (UTC) - Expand
goodbye
Nov. 22nd, 2006 03:06 am (UTC)
Well, I know for a fact that Lucius Malfoy is in his early forties, because in GoF, in some Dailey Prophet article, it stated "lucius Malfoy, 40," or something along those lines. I was always under the impression that He just knew the chamber had been opened because Voldemort either told him himself, or he guessed it. I mean, all the death eaters knew he was Heir of Slytherin, so wouldn't they have just figured it out?

And I thought that wizarding age was much different from normal age, in that they could live alot longer than muggles can. Idk though? I do know that, yeah, I'm pretty sure Voldemort is pretty old.

IDK though LMAO.
virtuistic
Nov. 22nd, 2006 03:12 am (UTC)
Well... we figured out what the book has to say on the subject, and once I'm done watching PoA I'm gonna go back to the polyjuice commonroom scene and see if Kloves just screwwed up once again.

And I did think of the latter (because I was wondering how Tom Riddle knew about Harry at all until I realized that Voldemort must've made the diary/horcruxy thing far, far after the fact.) Maybe Luscious was even his scribe, who knows.

Either way, I am significantly less frightened of Voldemort now that I know he could make use of a senior citizen discount.
(no subject) - goodbye - Nov. 22nd, 2006 03:15 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - virtuistic - Nov. 22nd, 2006 03:32 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - goodbye - Nov. 22nd, 2006 03:13 am (UTC) - Expand
kpachayagolobka
Nov. 22nd, 2006 03:24 am (UTC)
hey, you know what? they're WIZARDS-- suspension of disbelief much? maybe they just AGE differently. gaw.

;o)
virtuistic
Nov. 22nd, 2006 03:35 am (UTC)
I'm not willing to suspend my time element.
jadro
Nov. 22nd, 2006 03:29 am (UTC)
I'm impressed you noticed all that, 'cause things of that nature genearlly go over my head.
virtuistic
Nov. 22nd, 2006 03:33 am (UTC)
Hah, I'm clever. What can I say?
eloisem
Nov. 22nd, 2006 04:44 am (UTC)
If you really want to screw up your suspension of disbelief - think about the actual chamber of secrets and how the entrance is in a bathroom sink. And if Hogwarts has been around for 1000 years - did they really have indoor plumbing back then? :-o
virtuistic
Nov. 22nd, 2006 04:48 am (UTC)
Well... it is magic, but I know what you mean.

Also, how the hell do the other sinks work if they all move out and away. Pipes don't bend well, last time I checked.

They weren't so much with the plumbing when that castle was built.
(Deleted comment)
virtuistic
Nov. 23rd, 2006 06:12 am (UTC)
Well, from a journalistic standpoint... when they started reporting on it, at least by the practices I know, they would include his alias but also his real name and age in the articles. Plus, Dumbledore knew, and he's all over the ministry and whatnot. I just have difficulty believing people didn't know, as a journalism student who reads news like it's going out of style (which it is, by the way.)

I definitely agree that Dumbles probably had some age help with the life-juice from the stone of wonder. The fact that he's pushing 200 doesn't bother me a bit. I don't know. It all comes back to my inability to be afraid of old people. Even if Dumbledore was pissed at me, I don't think I could fear him. Then again, he wouldn't avada kedavra me either... but. Old!Voldemort is exponentially less scary to me, personally.

Hah, about the maths bit... I am too! I hate maths, but I can add. 0_o
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kathleendoris
Nov. 22nd, 2006 05:05 pm (UTC)
Maybe I'm an ignorant fool, but my Voldemort is still young and spry in his mid to late 40s. Seriously. "Over 50" is code for "feeble and practically harmless." For over 60, get rid of the practically and exchange feeble for fragile.

the older wizards the more powerful they are. a forty year old wizard is not nearly as scary as an 80 year old wizard.
virtuistic
Nov. 23rd, 2006 06:06 am (UTC)
A wizard with a walker and who can barely lift his own wand is not frightening. You could Rictor Sempra him and he'd fall, break a hip, get pneumonea, and die. Q.E.D.

Plus, Voldemort is supposed to be an acception to the rule. He was a really powerful wizard at a young age, hellbent on mayhem. If older wizards really are that much more powerful, why didn't the wizarding world just gather all the old fogeys and sick 'em on the Dark Lord?
(no subject) - kathleendoris - Nov. 23rd, 2006 07:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - virtuistic - Nov. 23rd, 2006 08:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kathleendoris - Nov. 23rd, 2006 08:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - virtuistic - Nov. 23rd, 2006 08:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kathleendoris - Nov. 23rd, 2006 08:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 54 comments — Leave a comment )

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