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it's a motherfucker...

it's a motherfucker being here without you jess. Thinking about the good times, thinking about the bad. And I wont ever be the same.


Elaborate being,
Big, gorgeous eyes seeing,
All the possibilities around you.
Ever present smile.
Loving all the while
Everywhere, friends surrounded you.
Treasured blessing.
Dipped your toe in, testing
Using your precious life to the full extent.
Loving daughter,
Kid Sister, source of laughter,
A gem to your family, members of others as well.
Cherished memories,
I smile looking back on all our old activities,
From riding the bus to hacky sack and euchre during the choir final.
Sense of humor.
Sharp wit and joking with others,
There was never a dull moment around you.
Intelligent Youth
Knowing the answer and curious as a sleuth
You always knew just what to do or say.
Tragedy.
Now the laughter fades,
In tears we all wade, for you were taken away.
Lost dreams.
Unfinished tasks, plans torn at the seams.
Moving prematurely down the isle in black, instead of white.
Stolen Opportunity,
I see your mother crying in agony
There’s no way anyone could console her, your friends, or me.
Beautiful Angel,
They’ve taken you away, lowered you down.
You soar above, white as a dove, remembered with love, and deeply missed.

Written in loving memory of Jessica Lynn Mancheski, born November 11th, 1985 – taken May 30th, 2002 in a car accident on London Road between Deerfield and London, Wisconsin.

Authors Note: Jessica, I miss you more than I can express. The pain is almost too much to bear when I think of all that you were robbed of. Never had anyone or I expected this to happen to you of all people. Walking down the isle of the church on your funeral instead of your wedding, seeing you dressed up in your coffin instead of at prom is so inexplicably unjust. You had so much potential and you would have used it I know, I will not let your zeal for life die. I’ll do my best to let you live through me, and I regret never being able to tell you how much I cherished you. I hope that as an angel you’ll somehow already know. I love you Jessi, for always.

this is so terrible. Of all people why did it have to be her? I wish it was me instead. I remember everything. Riding the bus together when Angela wasn't there, because Angela didn't like me much. Riding go carts together. Playing hacky sack in the band and choir room. Throwing peanuts at the Brewer Game. Jenna's birthday party. Playing euchre online when it felt like our friends had abandoned us. Playing euchre during the choir final. Singing sublime at the top of our lungs. Whistling at each other in the hallways. Ass slap wars. And I know people look at me like I didnt really know her. I loved her so much. She related to me and listened, I did the same for her. We leaned on each other all the time. Now she's gone and I dont think I can deal.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
diztressed
Jun. 4th, 2002 08:15 pm (UTC)
My dear-
First, let me say that I am so sorry you have to go through this, indeed, I'm sorry anyone has to go through stuff such as what happened. I am here if you want to talk.
Also, while I have not lost a friend, I have loved and I have lost. I do NOT know what it's like to lose a classmate, nor a friend, but I do know what it's like to love and to lose. I pray you find strength in your friends that are still here, and in your friend's memory.
Cry if you want, laugh if it makes you feel better, be angry if it serves a purpose, but just know that she is watching you and, God willing, you will see her again one day.
The pain will never completely pass, and for the rest of your life it will come, and it will go. But you will never forget.

Love you much.
virtuistic
Jun. 5th, 2002 03:02 pm (UTC)
Re:
Thank you so much sonci. =*] it's really nice to have someone that understands. i really appreciate it.
diztressed
Jun. 5th, 2002 05:28 pm (UTC)
You're very welcome. I am here if you need anything. = )
Much love.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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