Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex
virtuistic

  • Mood:

Guess what!

{It'd be best if you read this in upbeat, mock-enthusiasm...}

I hate my job! Hooray!

I swear to God, if one more of the cooks tries to hit on me, I'm going to smash their face into the hot grill! It'll be awesome! Woo hoo!

No rly! I mean it! I am not your "baby girl," and I don't want to hug you! You're covered in barbeque sauce, and you're gross! Also, you are white, and you grew up in the 'burbs! Stop with the ebonics and quit trying to be a "rapper slash poet"! Oh, and you! Mr. I-speaka-Spanish-too-fast-and-no-one-can-understand-me-comma-even-the-girl-from-Columbia, I don't understand a word you're saying! Ha ha!

Oh hey, Manager! If you grope me again, we'll be playing hide and seek! By which I mean... I'm going to hide your testicle somewhere in your abdomen, and the doctor will have to seek it out! Huzzah!

{/end mock-enthusiasm}

Moral of the Story: Shelby needs a day off. And a stiff drink, God damnit.

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Tags: angst, rant, work
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