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jebus crisp! ... oii crimeny!!!...

oh heaven help me. i need it. i'm so friggen confused. wanna know why? of course you dont. well... first the friggen background.

^*^

well on saturday it was 2:30 and i'm thinking that there is no way in hell ian will be home at two fuckin thirty on a god forsaken saturday, so i call up there. suddenly i find myself thinking, what the hell would i do if he ever picked up the phone? Jesus! just think of the fuckin devil...yeah well he picked up the phone and suprisingly we talked for like 20 minutes. and he didnt hesitate to tell me anything and everything that was going downhill, which makes me feel semi-special cuz normally he just doesnt tell people. yeah... then i called back yesterday to see how his mom and grandma were doing and well his dad picked up the phone but he was across the table and heard just about everything. his dad embarassed the hell out of him though. hah hah! but we talked again for another 20 minutes. and then i was feeling really gross cuz i ate nothing but junk food the whole day and i said possibly the stupidest thing in my entire fucking life. "yeah, i have to go cuz i feel like i'm going to vomit. can i talk to you later?" thats when he said he'd call me tomorrow (today!) at 9:00. 20 frockin minutes!! NOT COOL!

^*^

bloody hell. i'm so nervous. and i got a new glasses perscription so i feel like i'm drunk. they're all rivers cuomo like. woo hoo! i want him to call, but then what'll i say? and if he doesnt, what'll i do? uh.. lets see... cry perhaps?

^*^

i shouldnt have gotten my hopes all up. blah. fuck me. anyway...i dont know. at least i'll still have jon? but i am in such a bad situation. today, he autographed his sticks for me. and gave me another tingly like hug... me being the fucking clutz i am tripped over a backpack though. gawd. but he tickled me when leaving.. man. he's hot. but i still am just... =>ian<=

i'm screwwed! =D

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