The Acclaim has regained all its acclaim, yo! The transmission was acting up. We're talking hardcore rumbling whenever I stopped. So I called my father, who was an automechanic for 20 years. He's got car cred, and he told me to "put sea foam in with the transmission fluid."
Dude, I know. I was skeptical at first too. I'm thinkin, sure! I'll just drive my ghetto car out to Maine, scoop up some foam, and funnel it into my car... but there actually is a magnificent product with a really bizarre and amusingly inappropriate name.
It's seriously a miracle in a can. It cleans your entire transmission, treats all the metal, and now my car runs smooth as can be. It's fantastic. I had to siphon out a cup of transmission fluid, and then pour in the sea foam, which is - interestingly enough - hot pink and volatile. I knew pink was toxic and evil. I is clairvoyant, y'all.
Whatever! Fixed car! *bouncesquee!*