Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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To the port, to the port, to the starboard... well, no.

Alright, I have another truly important, ground shatteringly brilliant, and truly academic question:

Poll #698719 High on Soprano?

What is your opinion of Mariah Carey?

Her voice... is so... high! 0_o
Her voice... is so... low! o_0
Well, she's kind of a legend.
Soprano is the essence of music, and music is the essence of beauty!
Her voice is lovely but her songs blow blistering donkey balls.
Are you kidding me??
Wait, who's Mariah Carey?
Do you really think I would listen to pop music?
I want to choke a bitch.
Let's just say she's akin to the Whore of Babylon.
I think her head is full of helium. That would explain both the stupidity and the soprano.
I don't feel strongly in any capacity.

I know, I know. I'll explain. I saw that laptop commercial with the guy listening to music in the library, and suddenly Mariah Carey sitting on the guy's lap and he's all wide eyed and seduced and then she disappears into his laptop. That's what spurred this. Trust me, I don't spend my time contemplating Mariah Carey.

However, there was also just a fantastic commercial with David Spade talking to a psychiatrist about his abusive relationship with Hollywood. Therefore, this needs to be done. In the spirit of traveller...

Poll #698720 Who would win in a fight?

Who would win in a fight?

Mariah Carey
David Spade

*P.S. Here's my personal opinion: Ok, put it this way. David Spade = small but awesome. Mariah Carey = large and lame. Awesome always beats out lame, especially since Mariah would freak if she broke a nail and the fight would be so ovah. I think her best chance would involve either mud wrestling or high-pitched, glass-breaking, aneurysm-giving screeching. These are extremely good weapons. Still, the Spade has Awesome on his side. He also has wit, which could shatter her delicate ego and send her into another mental breakdown, or into another breast-alteration binge. Also, they could have a skin tone duel. His ghostly whiteness to her never-ending, orange fake-bake. I think we know which one is getting skin cancer first. I'm just sayin'.

As you can tell, I haven't done anything productive this weekend. I think it's the best thing I've done for myself in ages. Plus, it was a beautiful day. Spring is here, I'm finally relaxed, and tomorrow there's Gospel Choir. Life is gooooood.

In other news, I think Southpark is re-airing the famed scientology episode next on Comedy Central? If so, we can all hop that Tom Cruise will keep to his word and refrain from promoting his own movie, MI:3. (edit: Nope. Damn. Does anyone have it?) Anyway, it's the follow-up to the "fruity little club" ep [y'know... the last episode that Isaac Hayes was involved in because of the whole scientology thingie]. So what do they do to him? They turn him into a child molester, show him being mauled by a lion and a grizzly bear, he gets his face ripped off, his intestines spill, and he shits himself. When you think it couldn't get any worse, they turn him into Chef Vader. Nice. Real classy.

Also, we went to the jazz church today. It was pretty incredible. There were silver saxophones involved, and although they were a little overpowering, it was quite enjoyable. The instruments were listed as follows:

Organ: Organ Grinder
Guitar: Geetar
Sax: Velvet Foghorn
String Bass: Big Ole Fiddle
Drums: Bangulating Devices

These are good, fun people. I think we're goin' back on Wednesday for the soup supper.

Heh. Hi. How was your weekend?

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Tags: commercial thoughts, poll, tee vee
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