Man, there's nothin' like waking up, stumbling blearily outside to take out the whiny-ass beagle, picking up the dog shit, walking to dispose of it and slipping on the 2 inches of ice that has accumulated by the side of the building and landing solidly on your hip.
GOOD MORNING. HELLO.
I remember wondering to myself if I should imitate either the "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" elderly woman, or pull a Peter Griffin and just sit there, holding my hip, hissing in pain for a good 2 minutes straight. The beagle was not very interested in my plight, and didn't even try to comfort me because, who're we kidding, she's a bitch. I acted like a mature adult. I cursed the ice, got up, hobbled to the dumpster, cursed the beagle, and then got on with my business because I'm a survivor.
I'm also late for class. \m/