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A series:

Notice for U.S. Department of Education:
FAFSA, I have neither the time nor the energy to deal with you right now. Plz go away and stop sending me reminders, because I wont be responding any time soon. Thx.

Notice for University of Minnesota Library System Returns & Renewals Dept:
Guys, the book is in my possession. I am aware that you don't have it. I have called you about negotiating its return, but your people have been out of town. FYI, not my fault. Shut up.

Notice for Everygopher.com:
Look... I'm a Christian, but I will tell you that this is too much. You're pissing everyone off. When your fellow brothers and sisters in faith are irritated with you, you know it's time to stop chalking up our sidewalks with "evangelical" propaganda about the right to marry. You can take your overzealous activist bullshit and shove it straight up your ass. Thx.

Notice for Any and All Facebook Poke-ers:
Please stop. I love you all, but message me or something.

Notice for Colleges Against Cancer:
"Omigod like, you totally shouldn't smoke cigarettes 'cause it's like, so bad for you and everyone else."

You know what else is bad for me? Your vocabulary and your flawed logic. Smoking is not a new trend that needs to be stifled before it snowballs into a massive carcinogenic shitstorm, babycakes. People have been smoking tobacco for hundreds of years and in many different ways. Buy a history book, and get off your high horse.

Notice for the Beagle:
Gucci, I love you most of the time. That being said, if you ever piss on anything ever again I am going to throw you into the lake. I don't care if I have to break the ice first, you're goin' in. You've been warned.

--------------------

In other news:
Re-potted the herbs today. I think the dill is doomed, but the rest are growing quite nicely. Our herbology professors said dill is just an extremely tempermental plant, and I'm really not mourning it's loss. I'm more concerned with the cilantro and the basil, because yum. I also have peas, beans, corn, onions, trees, choleus plants, and some other cool looking plant-magic growing like wildfire in the greenhouses in St. Paul. It's more than a little obscene. Green thumb liek woah.

Also, Pamela Hill-Nettleton is my heroine. As you are - no doubt - extremely well aware, I had a horrible time with that front department story. I was fully prepared to be eviscerated. I e-mailed her, explained what had happened, and she was totally understanding which makes her a super-badass professor and as a person I totally love her. Go forth and read her books. She's a great human being, and I hope she'll be my editor someday.

Finally, HI WEEKEND! YOU'RE FINALLY HERE, WEEKEND! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, WEEKEND! WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE? ♥


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