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Every now and then I have these moments when I try to figure out what in the hell is so different between the two sexes that makes certain parts of socializing so completely unnavigable and confusing. I just noticed a fairly large difference, at least I think. So I'm going to throw some theories out there, and I'd like to get a discussion going because we need to write some manuals.

1. In the event of a big problem...

A female will: Pretty much obsess over it. Analyze it from all angles to try to determine fault, the different ways to approach and fix it, and will seldom focus on much else. She can ignore it for awhile by keeping busy but in the spare time between distractions, she's always thinking about it. Chances are, she'll probably take it to her friends, bounce it off them, they'll talk for a period of time, and she will throw their input into her hypothesis bank. She'll eventually come to a conclusion after toiling over it, and then she'll act and have done with it.

A male will: Acknowledge the problem, and either distract himself from the problem until he forgets about it or is less emotional about it and therefore ready to kick the everliving shit out of it. I believe before he faces the problem, he'll probably throw a couple possibilities and probabilities around in his cranium, but he's farr less likely to form a tribunal to run his ideas by. It seems like men typically handle their problems by going solo. I don't know why, but that's a trend I've noticed. Asking for help or advice is almost like a point of weakness or shame? Am I way off base here?

This all came up because a male friend of mine from elsewhere was online, and we were talking and having a lovely little conversation. Suddenly, he got really down (which happens. Flash depression, etc. Even men have PMS, don't even front), and then the conversation was over. I wanted to ask him what was wrong and if I could help... he just told me he was depressed, and he said he didn't want to talk. He'd deal with it... And then went to go play video games.

A lot of guys I know do this. They get upset, they play video games. My brother in particular, he will escape in front of a game console for hours until the emotion is completely gone. Other guys I know will go lift weights, or go running, or just physically exert themselves until they're exhausted.

So, what are your thoughts on this? Granted, I realize these are horrendous over-generalizations and I am kicking myself for that too, but I thnk if we combined the two stragagems, we'd have damn near the perfect approach to healthy problem solving. Because being too emotional isn't good for you, and neither is obsession. However, if you delay the problem or forget it temporarily, it's bound to come back and possibly have compounded. Bah. Why don't we just do away with problems, eh?

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( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 1st, 2006 07:28 pm (UTC)
I am such a woman it is not even funny.

Actually, it is.
Feb. 1st, 2006 07:31 pm (UTC)
It's ok. I'm pretty much an extreme tomboy, except for the whole vigilante justice providing ninja friend protector thing I've got going on.

Do you think it's accurate though? I kinda feel like I should delete it.

Feb. 1st, 2006 08:03 pm (UTC)
i agree. don't delete it, because it's pretty much right on the money.
Feb. 1st, 2006 08:27 pm (UTC)
I wouldn't say it's universal by any means, but I think there is a general trend that way and you've described it more or less accurately.
Feb. 1st, 2006 08:50 pm (UTC)
Right. And like I said, they are "horrendous over-generalizations" and there are always exceptions to the rule.

These two different approaches create some difficulties when trying to help. Because... I'll want to talk about it and talk through it, while a guy will probably get irritated at the insistant reminder.

(Deleted comment)
Feb. 1st, 2006 08:48 pm (UTC)
I like them too, and I have a few systems to enhance my recreation.

Howevah, I'm saying that they're often used as a method of escape by males when they have a problem. Or that guys typically ignore or avoid a problem. Are you disagreeing with that?
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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