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you're so very special

i wish i was special. but i'm a creep. ` sigh unfortunately so. and i do wish you would notice when i'm not around. and he is so very special. yet i'm still all wrapped up with all the ian emotions. so many freaky things happen when i think about him. hell, the anniversary of fuckin hell day it snowed all day. he loves snow. today i heard fuggin 'Be Like That' on the radio and shut it off. guh.

on the other hand, i'm shocked by the sense of "duh!" i get. it's like my mind is telling me,
"all right you stupid jackass, wise up and cheer the hell up. Fuck's sake you know the second you go up there and talk to him face to face he'll be wrapped around your little finger and you will never have to worry again." my thoughts are as profane as the rest of me.

and yet, i'm intruiged still by the aformentioned possible crush dude. Not only is he a skater and very sweet and all but he's artistic. he's very good at his sketches and i dont think he even knows it. also very musically gifted and witty and all that good shit. he will make some girl very happy someday. maybe he'll come to movie night in two weeks. i hope. kinda makes me giddy. heh. i'm a friggen tard.

This friday night is gonna be lame. might as well sleep. mom is going to steal the computer in 12 minutes.

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