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lies lies lies.

thats all anything ever is. i've been crying my eyes out for about twenty minutes. got home from pep band and i just lost it. i've been getting progressively more sick because of holding back all these tears. i'm just tired of it. i'm sick of no one caring.

so...

i got home and i just... i dont even know. next thing i know i'm in the bathroom sawing at my wrist with a razor blade. i dont know what's going on in my head anymore. but it scares the hell out of me. i just want a hug. i want someone that understands. i want someone that can give me advice and wants to help and that CAN! i need some solace. and soon, or i don't know what'll happen.

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