Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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January has developed a drug addiction.

I need to make sure that I'm not the crazy one here...

It's winter, right?
I live in Minnesota, right?
It's fricking January, right?

I feel like jumping up and screaming "HEAT WAVE!" except I know that when I landed I'd slip on the ice that's been forming over everything because the snow melts during the day and then freezes at night. The sidewalks are an extremely dangerous endeavor right now. Plus, part of me can't jump up and scream on account of the fact that it's too busy crying inside because evidently winter as I knew it is a thing of the past. I doubt I'll ever see a solid three feet of snow again, unless I go completely stark raving mad and move to the Yukon.

Also, when I came up here my freshman year I thought that I learned a little something about winter. That lesson was "OMGWTFOW-OW-FUCK-IT-HURTS-THE-WIND-JUST-RIPPED-THE-SKIN-OFF-MY-FACE!" Now, it doesn't actually rip your skin off but it freezes it instantly because the temperature is below zero and the wind tends to "chill" it down to a good -20 or so. Yes, the homeless in this city have, or rather had, a name for their fear of death. It was January.

Not this January, though. But hey! Mother Nature seems content with flinging 40 degree weather our way. Maybe she's going easy on us, or maybe she just likes watching us fall on our asses on the ice. Or maybe, and this seems much more likely, she's waiting for school to start before she opens the freezer door because then we won't have any choice but to go out in it. Wouldn't surprise me in the least. Her sense of humor is a little beyond cruel and demented these days.

Oh whaddaya know, it's supposed to snow 2 inches tonight? Oh Nature, you card.
Tags: wtf
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