Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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Creative Approaches to Bullshit Assignments

Faith and I had a horrible, and I mean truly-awfully-shitty-shitty-shitty, assignment tonight. Not only did it require us to needlessly waste 8 pages of ink and paper on a printout that is completely identical to the results of every other class member and could have been e-mailed instead as there was definitely a button that would have automatically sent the results via the student's umn e-mail (but that would be far to easy, ecologically friendly, and logical so no. You print it out, bitch. But mind you, results most emphatically cannot, under any circumstances, be photocopied. It must be an copy of the original page! [Except that a copy of the original is totally still a copy, and there is literally no way to determine whether or not one copied the copy of the original, which could never be the original. It is merely an imitation of a representation of an ideal and... c'mon Plato, back me up on this.]) - but they also wanted us to write our names on each and every page because, y'know, what the hell are staples for? So! We decided to comply with these absurd demands because well, our grade depends on it. However, we did take a creative and excessively flippant approach.

On writing our names on every. single. page., we did just that... with lime green and pink Sharpies. Also, our names migrated on the various pages. We wrote them in between paragraphs, in the margins, vertically and diagonally. We wrote them upside down. We wrote them backwards - and checked with a mirror to insure that we had written them correctly. We wrote them phonetically. We hid them by writing really, really, small, but they're all there, damn it!

We also had to create a document filled with potential sources of background information, potential interviewees, listservs, etc. for a completely ludicrous hypothetical cover story which we will not be writing...ever. We completed said document, and ended it with a declaration of displeasure, in size 3 font on the bottom left-hand corner. If you dig out a microscope or magnifying glass, you will clearly see the phrase, "I hate this." True story. Virtually undetectable by the human eye. I know, because I'm looking at it right now, and there's no way in hell anyone can simply read it, which is kind of a pity.

You can bet your ass we're turning that in. As is.
Tags: angst, creative solutions, school, teh flatmate
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