Pepperdine was just rated the most beautiful campus in the nation. This is so shocking, I'm channeling Iago. OH, THERE'S A BIG SURPRISE! I THINK I'M GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND DIE OF THAT SURPRISE! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? WE GOT A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING CAMPUS HERE, A BEAUTIFUL GODDAMN CAMPUS! ... now I get a stuffed parrot.