Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex
virtuistic

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OMGWTFZOMBIEDOG!

Holy fucking shit. This cannot be real. It's too vague to be real.

I just... I can't even. Who in their right mind would re-animate something with pointy teeth? Am I the only one that has seen a crappy horror movie? Evil Dead ring any bells? I don't really know what to believe though... I must delve into this further.

For one, temporarily replacing blood with contact solution(saline) and then refueling with the old blood, or even "fresh" blood, wouldn't work. The dog died for a reason, something broke. If someone dies from heart failure, I'm doubting a three hour chill session followed by a transfusion will jump-start them up again. C'mon, like the 3 hour break is all the rest your body needs to reset? Pour in some fresh juice and electroshock the fucker back into existence? Don't think so.

Also, who the hell calls the dog-zombies "eerie" and then suggests we bring back humans? For real... c'mon fellas. That's not a good way to get the general public to want to go along with your madness. That's right up there with saying, "It's like Frankenstein, but fuzzy!"

Also, this would be way more contraversial than anything because it would rock the fundamental core of human existence. For starters, you'd have the whole of the Christian Church up on your ass, waiving bibles and ranting about souls and "God's Plan". Everyone else would be at least mildly concerned about fucking with the natural order of things. Thousands of questions. Overpopulation? Psychological ramifications? How many do-overs do you get? Your mom?

Who are all these boffins anyway? I am surprised that they seem to have cited a real, functioning college research program. Still...from my research (which totals a grand half-hour, thank you very much), they haven't stepped forward themselves on their site. Nor do they have a 2003-2004 annual report, which seems shady as it is most definitely 2005.

Apparently Fox News is also privy to this disturbing nonsense, which unsettles me greatly. They focus on animal rights... and offer a name! ...Oh shit.

Dr. Patrick Kochanek! We have a boffin! One who "angrily denies he's creating a race of zombie dogs fit for a Stephen King novel." One who also implies at the end of the foxnews article that the alternative to dogzombies is DEATH. Um... duh?

More skepticism.

Comical Skepticism.

Another reference to the original article, and comment-style skepticism.

My major qualm with this whole thing is that I just can't believe this hasn't been gobbled up by the Mass Media, especially in this culture of sensationalism. It's been difficult for me to find references of this story even in other blogs, let alone on major news sites. This should be a breakthrough that would inevitably cause more controversy than Homosexual Marriage, Jacko, and the Terry Schiavo case combined. Practicing on humans later this year? No. No way in fuck. Again with the controversy and the NO. Animal Rights activists are already having a field day. PETA is involved, according to the foxnews article. That'd just be the tip of the iceburg. The Catholics will go batshit. Not to mention every single person that is slightly uncomfortable with the notion of zombies. Death, as unpleasant as it may be, is inevitable and generally, mankind is ok with that. We don't have a choice. Personally, I would only like to die once and not be brought back to my shriveled 86-year-old former-corpse just because someone can't bear to let me go. You can't shock the hell out of someone indefinitely, this much is certain. Plus, Kochanek even said that not all the dogzombies have been "normal". They have severe physical or behavioral problems, and that is something I'm definitely not willing to deal with.
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