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OMGWTFZOMBIEDOG!

Holy fucking shit. This cannot be real. It's too vague to be real.

I just... I can't even. Who in their right mind would re-animate something with pointy teeth? Am I the only one that has seen a crappy horror movie? Evil Dead ring any bells? I don't really know what to believe though... I must delve into this further.

For one, temporarily replacing blood with contact solution(saline) and then refueling with the old blood, or even "fresh" blood, wouldn't work. The dog died for a reason, something broke. If someone dies from heart failure, I'm doubting a three hour chill session followed by a transfusion will jump-start them up again. C'mon, like the 3 hour break is all the rest your body needs to reset? Pour in some fresh juice and electroshock the fucker back into existence? Don't think so.

Also, who the hell calls the dog-zombies "eerie" and then suggests we bring back humans? For real... c'mon fellas. That's not a good way to get the general public to want to go along with your madness. That's right up there with saying, "It's like Frankenstein, but fuzzy!"

Also, this would be way more contraversial than anything because it would rock the fundamental core of human existence. For starters, you'd have the whole of the Christian Church up on your ass, waiving bibles and ranting about souls and "God's Plan". Everyone else would be at least mildly concerned about fucking with the natural order of things. Thousands of questions. Overpopulation? Psychological ramifications? How many do-overs do you get? Your mom?

Who are all these boffins anyway? I am surprised that they seem to have cited a real, functioning college research program. Still...from my research (which totals a grand half-hour, thank you very much), they haven't stepped forward themselves on their site. Nor do they have a 2003-2004 annual report, which seems shady as it is most definitely 2005.

Apparently Fox News is also privy to this disturbing nonsense, which unsettles me greatly. They focus on animal rights... and offer a name! ...Oh shit.

Dr. Patrick Kochanek! We have a boffin! One who "angrily denies he's creating a race of zombie dogs fit for a Stephen King novel." One who also implies at the end of the foxnews article that the alternative to dogzombies is DEATH. Um... duh?

More skepticism.

Comical Skepticism.

Another reference to the original article, and comment-style skepticism.

My major qualm with this whole thing is that I just can't believe this hasn't been gobbled up by the Mass Media, especially in this culture of sensationalism. It's been difficult for me to find references of this story even in other blogs, let alone on major news sites. This should be a breakthrough that would inevitably cause more controversy than Homosexual Marriage, Jacko, and the Terry Schiavo case combined. Practicing on humans later this year? No. No way in fuck. Again with the controversy and the NO. Animal Rights activists are already having a field day. PETA is involved, according to the foxnews article. That'd just be the tip of the iceburg. The Catholics will go batshit. Not to mention every single person that is slightly uncomfortable with the notion of zombies. Death, as unpleasant as it may be, is inevitable and generally, mankind is ok with that. We don't have a choice. Personally, I would only like to die once and not be brought back to my shriveled 86-year-old former-corpse just because someone can't bear to let me go. You can't shock the hell out of someone indefinitely, this much is certain. Plus, Kochanek even said that not all the dogzombies have been "normal". They have severe physical or behavioral problems, and that is something I'm definitely not willing to deal with.

Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
bradco
Jun. 28th, 2005 08:42 pm (UTC)
I saw a link for this dismorning, looks cool
might be able to clear some confusion, those puppies didn't die because something broke, they gave their little puppy lives for science.
and they aren't offering immortality (well no more than current health services) the technology will help prolong people's lives in emeregency, giving them a few valuable hours until they can reach sufficient medical care (it's not a treatment in itself, more of a way to get you to the hospital okay) and it's an extension of the body's natural ability to enter deep sleep when facing death.

yes, the christian and catholics will whinge and groan about these things, you can always count on that haha
but when the whiny little bitches are bitchin' you know you're doing something right :)
(and saying that, there is MEGAbucks going into developing and researching this technology, and these sponsors don't just give millions of bucks out without doing a little background check on the scientists first, and make sure they have no such plans for world domination.)
believe me, i've been knocked back soooooooooooooo many times :(
virtuistic
Jun. 28th, 2005 09:03 pm (UTC)
oh I know the dogs were killed for the sake of science... which is why PETA is all up in arms. I also know that I overexaggerated a touch but still... it's creepy and there are still some logistical problems.

Say someone is having an emergency, i.e. heart failure... they will need a new heart. Within three hours. That would be a touch on the side of impossible. People wait months for transplants... Plus, i'm not entire confident that someone sucking out all your blood, replacing it with Renu contact solution or a variation thereof, putting your body on pause for 3 hours, reinserting blood and then shocking the fuck out of someone... I have my doubts.
bradco
Jun. 28th, 2005 09:16 pm (UTC)
i agree, it might seem a touch on the side of impossible that there is a working heart waiting at the hospital for them, but it's dead IMPOSSIBLE that there is a working heart beside them when they had the heart failure. and this is people's LIVES we're talking about here, they are very partial to them and are scared of losing it on the way to the hospital. myself, i've cheated death enough already so it doesn't really affect me, but some people really want to stay living. no-one wants to die if they don't have to. perhaps a new heart wasn't needed, just the correct facilities and gizmos to fix the broken heart, this thing could save lives.

but hey. there's a positive side and a negative side to focus on (of course, as always)
don't believe tha hype :)
ex_stoicism868
Jun. 28th, 2005 08:44 pm (UTC)
this may or may not be the coolest thing i've seen in a while.

i have a zombie story, too, but it's way gross so i will spare you and your lj-readers.
virtuistic
Jun. 28th, 2005 09:04 pm (UTC)
you'll have to e-mail it to me!!!! my curiosity is piqued.
orangedust
Jun. 29th, 2005 08:14 am (UTC)
Not too gross for me! Email to me too if you don't mind!

orangedust @ hotmail.com

- cal
orangedust
Jun. 30th, 2005 09:02 am (UTC)
Oh my god! That tale is crazy!! Thanks!

- cal
aerplane
Jun. 28th, 2005 08:57 pm (UTC)
WTFFFF THOSE WOLFS ARE LIKE....IT'S LIKE... 28 DAYS LATER?!?! WTF WTF SCIENTISTS ARE THE ONES WHO ARE GOING TO DESTROY OUR WORLD...SOME VIRUS IS GOING OT SPREAD AROUND & IT WILL BE SOME HORROR FILM! WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST LEAVE NATURE ALONE???
orangedust
Jun. 29th, 2005 06:48 am (UTC)
Hey your ex Matt said hello to me, major trip out he knows one of my labelmates who I also know. It is indeed a small world :)

- cal
virtuistic
Jun. 29th, 2005 01:41 pm (UTC)
Is indeed. What's your opinion of the little shit? ;)

Naw, just playin'. He's still my best friend, I'm allowed to call him names. Heh heh...

Also, freakin ZOMBIES man!
orangedust
Jun. 30th, 2005 08:06 am (UTC)
He seems really cool but like it was as if he... wanted to say something else but didn't? And then there's me going "Yeah fucking this fuckign that blah blah blah" and he seemed so serious!

Zombies! Yeah the dog thing is fucked up. I don't really have much of an opinion on it though, just more fucking canines barking at night.

- cal
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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