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A Collection

Me: "Credit Card Mailings! Confetti for your trash can!"

Grandma Bonietta(No, I'm not joking. That's her real name.)'s Letter: "It sure was nice out side today that I washed clothes and hung them outside." ...yeah. Ow.

faithlynn: "Aba doo! Aba dooba! Frreeowwww. Brrrbrrrbrrrbrrbrrbrr. Rrrr. Rraawwr. *blows raspberry* Wheeeee!! Ooo doo doo! Bitch, I will cut you! Doo doo doo."

faithlynn: "Will you put this back in the fridge for me because you love me to beices and pits?"
Me: "Bwaahhh? Pits?"
faithlynn: And bieces. *proceeds to try to talk with a chopstick clenched between her teeth* Foo eeritphated me so much I pfucked up zha letters. *notices I'm typing this, takes chopstick out* FUCK YOU, BITCH!

I would give background, but not even I am that obscene. I think you'll get the gist pretty quickly...

faithlynn: They're actually discussing this shit in public. And giggling. We should kill them. And steal their sandwiches.
Me: My thoughts EXACTLY. I need a cigarette after that! I was afraid she'd draw an illustration.
faithlynn: omg. She DID...with her WORDS! Scarred for life wtf. Can we say "too much information?" That's like, the DEFINITION of it. They should die a slow death on an overheated radiator.
Me: I was thinking choking. On their sandwich. But that would be a horrible waste of sandwich. Maybe they could choke on the OBJECT that was just under discussion. If they continue, I may vomit.
faithlynn: "I think I just thew up in my mouth a little." ...we could strangle them with the X-mas lights. *helpful*
Me: Bitches & Hos!
faithlynn:...your MOM!
Me: I kinda wanna scream "NEVER HAVE CHILDREN" and follow up with a fierce bout of shifty eyes.
faithlynn: Never have children or say "I love you". To anyone. EVER.
Me: Omg let's leave. Like now. I can't take this.
faithlynn: Ok. Fuck, they're making me stupid!

I concur.
Oh my God, I hate the internet.
Doubtful. Worst WordArt ever.
Oh I won't. They're fresh out of apostrophes so there's no place for me.
Even Jesus is jealous!
True! Hurrah! May we burn 'er?
Whoever made this is so going to hell.
Oh dear...
Hee! Very scared. Oh I do... trust me.

Snrrrrkkk! Ugh.

...Also, your mom's a whore.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 8th, 2005 01:43 am (UTC)
Wow... Your entries are so elaborate... How much time (and money) and "effort" do you put into these things?

For some reason, I don't get credit cards... I never got any at home, either. I think it was because I went out of state. They cannot track the elusive Alex! HA HA!!!! ... (cough)
Apr. 8th, 2005 01:44 am (UTC)
Heh... not as much as you'd probably think. This one isn't finished yet, though. ;)
Apr. 8th, 2005 02:00 am (UTC)
I take that back. I put a lot of effort into them, but not an insane amount of time. I SWEAR.
Apr. 8th, 2005 01:56 am (UTC)
Apr. 8th, 2005 02:30 am (UTC)
Your granny is adorable. Can we share?
Apr. 8th, 2005 02:39 am (UTC)
of course. :)

She's a riot. Both of my grandma's are.

It's further magnified by the fact that they're polar opposites, too. HEE.
Apr. 8th, 2005 08:17 am (UTC)
haaaaa hhaaaa I love you both. mwa!*nuzzles you*
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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