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damn it feels good to be a gangsta

wow its cold. No farking snow. But it's cold.Jees! Well today was actually a good day. Because i figured it all out. And damnit i wish i could talk to him and apologize. You know, upon re-reading my journal, ever since the first time he and i split i wasnt completely happy and never felt completely loved or lovable. and that was the problem. I lost it for me. How could he love me when i didnt love me? I was miserable, and generally people dont wanna be around miserable people!!! Tis the key! Tis the key! I dont know, all day i have been completely at peace with everything. I was at peace with my math!!! and i did it! and guess what...it wasnt hard!!! freaky eh? Also i'm confused, cuz last time we broke up he immediately gave my ring to tabby and told her to send it back to me. He didnt this time. its in a ring box on his dresser. shrug I dont know. I just wanna at least be able to tell him thank you. For all he's done, and he's done a lot. And even though he doesnt have to return it, i want him to know that i love him. and i wish him enough.

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May 2013


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