Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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Ahh... introspection.

"Work is not always required...there is such a thing as sacred idleness, the cultivation of which is now fearfully neglected."
- George MacDonald (1824-1905)

Amen! Especially in today's anti-hedonistic world. O tempora, o mores. This quote is doubly applicable after midterms, and walking into Spring Break. Amen, brother. Tonight I watched Finding Neverland with Nic, and I honestly might watch it again. It's so brilliant, and absolutely stunning. I've done so much thinking it beggars description. I wrote a letter to family, sent out a letter to Caitlin, called Grandma Fae, dipped into 5 different books of stark contrast, listened to music while reclining and clearing my mind, and letting my mind run around its questions. GG's passing has caused some familiar thoughts to resurface, and I'm finding myself pondering countless existential questions. I'm talking down to the construction of matter - existential; what is real, if senses are real. Also, with this relative barrage of stimuli, I find it impossible to believe that death could possibly be the complete lack thereof, not in a world like this. Yet perhaps I'm merely limited by my perspective, and by the fact that I've never known anything but this cacophony of action, sense, and memory. Its absence doesn't seem possible, and even if it were, it would be too horrific a concept for me to wrap my mind around.

"Reverie is not a mind vacuum. It is rather the gift of an hour which knows the plentitude of the soul."
- Gaston Bachelard (1884-1962)

People don't sit and contemplate anymore. I don't do it as much as I used to. I feel so disorganized... I miss sitting by the lake, staring at the night sky, feeling the periodic breezes and listening to the rhythmic lapping of the small rippling waves on the rocks that the wind carries with it. And the hours. Hours spent navigating thought and reverie. It's so...comforting, rejuvenating, and enriching. I need to integrate it into my life more regularly. I think it'll be easier once winter dissolves into spring and I can come out of hibernation, and talk long walks down the Mississippi, and perch on the banks for a spell.

"Nosce te ipsum, hic et ubique." - Me (and my mad latin skillz) (Know thyself, here and everywhere.)

Identity has come up a lot in my thoughts. I'm confident that I know myself; I feel like I've always had a good grasp on who I am, my affinities, where I came from, what makes me tick. Still, I think so many problems are caused by insecurity and the lack of trust/faith in one's thoughts and emotions. It all works back to people not taking enough time to sit and think things through. We live in a world of convenience and distraction, at least in America and that's probably a gross understatement. Still, it's so peaceful to contemplate one's own being and existence, even if it can get a little unnerving. Just having a better understanding, or at least the knowledge that you gave it a good think is insanely gratifying. Hmm... I think I'm going to go immerse myself once more.

Let it be, there will be an answer. Let it be.
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