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hope hath failed me.

I'm lost. I saw several things that gave me so much courage. Sum 41, and several songs after that that were all...come back to me... i fucked up i'm sorry i need you... i got it bad.... etc. I called up there, his sister picked up the phone....i faultered. Asked for his mom because i heard her walk in and stuff and asked her to ask him to talk to me and he didnt want to. This is so stupid but it crushed me. It's like he's dead, but its harder because he's still walking around. i feel like hell. and now they are advertising the chocolate orange that ian and i ate up there. I havent seen one of those commercials since....i was in canada. :( We hated it. It sucked. but we shared it. Now on my brothers movie i've only been vaguely paying attention to...she thinks her husband guy is dead....and he's not. And yes, things can get worse. Didnt think i'd be going below sea level but my mother wants to send me in to councelling. I just want to go to stand in front of ian and get this resolved. I'm beginning to doubt there will be a resolution.

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