April 19th, 2007

fyi not my fault

Proof Positive

Avril Lavigne needs to stop making music right. now.

And this is why.

Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" single off her new album, The Best Damn Thing.

Let's examine this, shall we?
  1. This is not socially acceptable behavior. This is exactly why women don't trust other women. You can thank Avril for this stunning portrayal of why some girls get ridiculously posessive and jealous. Some selfish, snotty, "princess", pretty-girl decided she wanted what what wasn't available and actively went to sabotage someone else. Oh, and this what we're marketing as cool to the wee ones? What about the girlfriend, eh? What about "do unto others?" If I sound cranky, it's because this has happened to me before, and it sucks a lot. Maybe I'm an old fuddy-duddy, but boy-poaching is most emphatically not okay. Taken means taken, regardless of whether you like their better-half or not.
  2. Actually, Avril, you couldn't be anyone's girlfriend since you - oh, I don't know - got married. Unless Deryck is okay with that sort of thing, which... even then, is also not socially acceptable behavior.
  3. This is still not punk! I don't care how many times you dye your hair black, wear spikes and a plaid skirt, walk around with a skateboard, drop a few choice four-letters, and jump around while singing. This music is not, and it never will be, punk music. This is irritating, repetitive, Mean Girls music and it's about as shallow as a kiddie pool. Avril, do not sully one of my favorite music genres with your vapid presence and misnomers!
  4. Avril, you are not a Pussy Cat Doll. Do not try to mix "Dance" genre moves with whatever it is you are doing. I don't think I've seen anything more disturbing than Avril wearing fishnets, bloomers, bubble-pink in her preppy blonde hair, while the camera zooms in and out of her crotch. Also, she has a dance posse? Since when? Since when does she dance? Wasn't she supposed to be like, the anti-diva?
  5. This song has been done before. It was called "Don't Cha," but that song had a modicum of respect for the other woman. "You got to play fair." This means no tripping, shoving, or kissing the boyfriend in front of the girlfriend.
  6. P.S. Avril, you still can't sing. Lest I forget that important part. I know it worked for Britney, but... well, you can see where she's ended up so let's not go down that road, mmmk?

Seriously, y'all. And you wonder why I hate pop music. I would rather listen to Sanjaya. All that boy needs is some stage training and he'd be good to go.

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Forget chicken...

Give me fifteen minutes of your time, and I will give you a capella for the soul?

I seriously want to find the Acafellas.
Breakfast at Tiffany's

For worthyopponent. YOU KNOW YOU LOVE SEAL, SHUT UP. (P.S. Does it surprise anyone else that that voice comes out of that man? It kind of does me. Maybe it's the clothes.]
Kissed by a Rose

This is quite possibly the geekiest thing ever, and it's amazing.
I refuse to introduce this. You just have to watch it, and love it.

This would be way better if the audience didn't laugh so much. The guy who does the computer-voice is phenomenal.
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

orangedust, this is for you.
Creative beatboxing

And now I go outside to read in the sunlight.

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