July 19th, 2006

t rex what the hell


Seriously, this is the most random thing in the world. I don't recall anything stranger ever happening to me.

I was sitting here, typing away on AIM, I get up to grab my cell phone and see... a three and a half foot snake slithering out from underneath our loveseat. It scared the ever-living shit out of me, and I am no stranger to snakes. That being said, I maintain that if you are not expecting to see a snake, it will always scare you, no matter how experienced you are with them.

This particular snake is red and orange, and it's definitely a corn snake. I used to own a boa constrictor, so thank God I actually know how to care for this thing for the night, because what the else hell do you do with a renegade snake at 2 a.m., when it is obviously someone's pet? I guess it's lucky that I didn't meet up with Dave, because if I hadn't found it, I don't know what would have happened. Faith probably would have gone mental.

I doubt he's been out for long, because he's extremely happy and healthy. Also, he is quite friendly. Right now, he is giving me a back massage. I actually think I quite like him, but he still scared the shit out of me.

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shitty day

I want my man to taste like black cherries.

The title of this entry has nothing to do with the content. I just wanted to use it before I forgot. Today's topic = laundry.

Laundry day, as it turns out, actually is a very dangerous day. Who knew that Rocko's Modern Life would one day help make sense of this strange Wednesday? I woke up at 10, when Thompson called looking for Faith [btw, hon? Are you okay? Plz for to have not gotten into a horrific car accident?] and blearily began sorting laundry. In the process I tripped over beagle. I swear, she's a little furry landmine.

After I got all sorted and relatively well, I loaded up the basket, grabbed the jar of quarters, went to the closet to get the detergent and THUNK. I was hit on the head with a plant pot. It was plastic, so it wasn't like the ACME terra cotta pot of petunias that falls from on high, knocking the victim unconscious, but still. That is not something you want to get konked on the forehead with at 10:15 a.m.

The head-konk just added insult to injury, because the laundry detergent was completely not there. I would have gone to the store to get some at that moment in time, but it was storming like armageddon was just tip-toeing through the tulips, and some douchebag was mowing our lawn in a torrential downpour while our road was flooding... so it seemed against my better judgement.

Then, when I did go to the store at about noon once the storm went away, and the thunder stopped scaring the beagle half to death, I almost got smashed into by an electrical truck that blew through a stop sign. Oh, and he had the nerve to honk at me, as though I had cut him off. Oi.

Whatever. 2 loads down, three more to go.

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Snakes on a Shelby! The sequel...

So, it's Julie's snake! Its name is Salsa and it's been missing for a month. This makes me happy, because since it's her snake I can play with him whenever I want. On my terms, thanks verreh much.

In other news, laundry has made this day a disaster. Some asshole took out my clothes from the dryer and stole my dryer time. I wrote a note and posted it on the wall, it read as follows:

"For the Record

Simply put, taking someone's laundry out of the dryer and stealing their paid dryer time is high on the list of unacceptable practices. Just so we're clear... Thanks."

Some people's kids, I tell ya.

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So You Think You Can Pull Off That Hair?

Cat Deeley's hair makes me thing that she *just* got done having really rough sex against a wall, and it's really not a good look for her. "You're a hard man, Nigel." Apparently.

In other news, I am totally in love with Travis. Also, Black Eyed Peas are all over this bitch tonight.

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I was kind of irritated that this show was so long. Ow.

And I really have to iterate, Kat Deeley was a total whore tonight. You know it.

Anyway, I've got another poll!

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Onto Project Runway!

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