January 11th, 2004

free

So what if I don't sleep?

I'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, tight as fuck, relatively well adjusted human being!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

That actually describes me rather well. The Internet really does know everything, in fact, it even knows what eejitous means:

One entry found for eejitous.
Main Entry: eejitous
Pronunciation: 'e-jE-tOs
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): -er; -est
Date: 2003
1 : easily distracted by pointless Internet quizzes or tests
2 a : in the process of taking an Internet quiz or test:
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<oh,>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

I'm <b>an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, tight as fuck, relatively well adjusted human being!</b><br /><a href="http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/tests/compatibility/?checkid=86673">See how compatible you are with me!</a><br /><small>Brought to you by <a href="http://rumandmonkey.com/">Rum and Monkey</a></small>

That actually describes me rather well. The Internet really does know everything, in fact, it even knows what eejitous means:

One entry found for eejitous.
Main Entry: eejitous
Pronunciation: 'e-jE-tOs
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): -er; -est
Date: 2003
1 : easily distracted by pointless Internet quizzes or tests
2 a : in the process of taking an Internet quiz or test: <Oh, he'll snap out of it in a minute, he's never eejitous for long.>
3: urgesome

See?

<div align="center"><center><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="200" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" bordercolor="#000080"><tr><td><center><br><font face=verdana><font color="#000080"><font size="2">I am the Natural Number</font><br><font size=8>e</font><br><br><font size=2>I go with the flow</font></font><br><font color="#FFFFFF">_</font></font></td></tr></table></center></div><br><center><font face=verdana><font size=2><a href="http://www.geocities.com/eyecanspy/numberquiz">what number are you?</a></font><font size=1><br><br>this quiz by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/orsa">orsa</a></font></font></center>

<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/P/PseudoAngel/1067658383_dintheHead.jpg" border="0" alt="It looks as though you're just a little Fudged in the Head"><br>'Fudged in the Head' PLEASE VOTE!!!
<br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/PseudoAngel/quizzes/What%20Type%20of%20Lunatic%20are%20You%3F%20(With%20Cool%20Pics!!)/"> <font size="-1">What Type of Lunatic are You? (With Cool Pics!!)</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>

well... i think i'm going to get about 4 hours of sleep... maybe.
  • Current Music
    El Scorcho - =w=
free

amelioration and courage

I feel oddly contented. I finally was able to tell matt how I view him without sounding like a total fool... He really is the most beautiful person that i have ever encountered, and i am still enamored with him. Yet, i'm more at peace with the idea of no development, as long as we stay as is, even though I feel a progression slowly happening. I'm still in awe of his mind, his concise articulation, and although sometimes it doesn't seem to exist, his immense consideration and compassion. Everything he does is so carefully calculated, and i can understand how that must exhaust him but it enthralls me, and only makes me want to assist him whenever possible. I admire him so much, in so many ways.

Tonight I waited for him for a good couple of hours, was kind of frustrated but he came, and that's a change from before... if he says he'll do something he will... time is just the determining factor... but i was reminded how considerate he is... because although he made plans with me, since i've been home he's been completely neglecting bill, and told him earlier that they would play nintendo for awhile and chill... thus the delay... then i dyed his hair black, and suprisingly, he still looks stunningly handsome... then we were going to go watch big fish... but the anxiety came on and he actually opened up and talked to me about it... i relate to the things he says in some ways, and i just wish i could help him more, but i know he really just needs to focus and rest... but i showwed him the smashing pumpkins patch i'm making him and he gave me a hug.. and i was actually able to communicate exactly this...

"I want you to know that when it seems like things are slipping away, i'm not going anywhere, you'll never lose me, I'll never lie to you, and i'll never leave you."

(brightness in his eyes, small smile, and hug)

"Matt, I love you. You are the most beautiful person i've ever met and it's all right here [hand on his head] and here [other hand on his heart]. And any time you need, you can call me at 3 am i don't care, you can break into my house and wake me up, I'll do whatever I can to help you. And I'm always going to be here."

[full smile, another hug, thank you, and parting.]
  • Current Music
    Small - Lamb
free

well fuck me...

well! should have seen it coming what with being in close proximity to him all the time, can't get him out of my mind all over again. I'm still o.k. with friends, but I'd do next to anything to be with him. Lately I've been noticing so many similarities, and so many more little quirks that I enjoy... God damnit Matthew. I love you.

... I'm a lot like you so please, hello, i'm here, I'm waiting. I think I'd be good for you, and you'd be good for me ...

... i know he would... it's time i got back to the good life...

I'll be under your stars forever.
  • Current Music
    Beautiful - Smashing Pumpkins