yeah i'm home again. torn between two options that have me going insane. also trying to amuse myself by attempting new html stuff.
dont know if it will work or not. if not then i guess i'll have some interesting number blotches. dont really care.
i talked with ians dad again today for about a half an hour. He and i both wish we could get inside ians brain and see what he's thinking. I wonder if it's me he's seeing in his dreams, or if it's me he's wishing to have back. his dad says he's lost his teddy bear. *sniffle*
I feel very calm. Unearthly, so calm and so unhappy. I want to call him. Then again i dont. Dad tells me he's been really upset at everything and i dont want to call when he's angry and ruin everything. But i dont want to let this sit too long because i wont be able to tolerate it for much longer and i dont want him to just get over me because he thinks i dont love him anymore and he still loves me.