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i wonder

am i crazy? i am up at like midnight, and colder than ice, exhausted, cramped, and unable to move from this chair out of fear. i must be insane. Okay for awhile i have thought there was a ghost in this house but even if there was it couldnt hurt me could it? and i mean i've been here for like what, 6, 7 years and it hasnt doen anything yet if it is even there. wouldnt it have done something already? i dont know why but i have a case of the unholy creeps. i wish someone would wake up. i always have a problem with that. i cant get to sleep if i am the last one up. until 4 o clock when the sun comes out. then i am safe. What is wrong with me? Its a walk up the stairs to my room. I do it hundreds of times a day and i cant do it now. why? because a ghost is in the other room.? can a spirit harm a living person anyway? i am not included in his unfinished business. somehow drowning myself in these conversations keeps me safe. huddled in this corner...cant move. cant leave this spot until light comes. Or until someone wakes up, and i'm not the last one to fall asleep. i am fine if someone else is awake when i fall asleep, otherwise its hard. WHY? this is so childish.! But my legs wont move.! i cant make them. my imagination is a curse unto me. father wake up.! do your normal bathroom run.! so i can go to sleep.! must not cross the hallway but why?!? i swear i must be going completely insane. but this happens every time i am down here past midnight. I am just being stupid. but either way i cant help the heeby jeebies i have. or my urge to call my mom down here and have her walk me upstairs. or the urge to run, and run, and run.

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