Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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Rabbit Hole Day!

Waking up this morning was not an easy thing to do. I tried to avoid the various obstacles that appeared to have congregated around my bed in the night. I think the gnomes are back, and it appears that my minions have left me because they should have engaged the bastards in a righteous and epic battle in order to save me! Alas, no dice. I fell. A lot. Stumbled blearily to the bathroom and found yet another surprise.

A white puffball sprinted down the hallway, and I knew nothing about this morning would be good. Cautiously peering into the bathroom I decided the coast was clear enough. Plus, I had to pee. All was well until the rubber ducks started talking about their plight, what with being subjected to bathroom noises, smells, and full frontal nudity. The little duck is a pervy little devil, and I think he needs to be repremanded. Either that or his sick little mind needs to be tapped into, no doubt he could produce the best and kinkiest porn this world has ever seen.

I decided, without much conviction, that after discussing the bathroom situation with the ducks I should just go back to bed. And I would have, you see, if it weren't making suggestive noises. How my roommate sleeps through these occurances I will never know. I convinced myself that I might be able to escape this bubble of weird if I ventured elsewhere. I tried putting clothes on, but they kept tearing at the seams and then regrouping once the various and sundry bits had fallen to the floor. It was quite aggravating. After threatening them with open flame I got some of the more cowardly ones to cooperate. Needless to say, my outfit was less than stunning today.

Breakfast, which is always a hazard even on normal days because it's UDS, wasn't something I was willing to risk - especially as teal smoke was rolling down the hallway from that general direction, and it smelled vaguely of cotton candy and marijuana. Thus, straight out the door I went and was tripped by a red penguin that was amusing himself with a slide he'd built. Unfortunately, the slide not only lead him straight into the path of passerby, but it also lead him head first into the wall and he was grumbling quite irritably about his headache and rubbing a very sizable lump.

Crossing the road was not going to be an option. A neverending line of shriners were swerving in and around one another, honking very irritating horns. I looked up at the sky, wondering if I could conjure an escape rope or similar. The sky, in turn, winked cheekily and began raining flavored lubricant. Luckily, at that exact moment a flock of lemmings came stampeding around the corner and carried me straight back into my apartment building before launching themselves down the garbage chute. I skated back to my room and opted for returning to my bed, even if there was a large squid warbling "My Heart Will Go On" and flailing enthusiastically at the foot.
Tags: rabbit hole day
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