Thesaurus Rex (virtuistic) wrote,
Thesaurus Rex

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Bah wizzers.

Tomorrow is my last day here, at least Matt called and apologized about last night. Hm.

Yesterday was so wasted. I worked, got ice cream, came home, read, and slept.

I feel like I should scramble to see everyone. I don't know where to start. I really wanted to chill with Stephie, it was so awesome seeing her yesterday. I feel like such an ass for not realizing how fast this break was ending until this week, when I have to work every fucking day except for this one. I feel like I should feel guilty about not spending more time with Nic, but I don't. I never called Greg either. Still, I'll see them every day for the next semester, while I wont be able to see the people here until I come home again... and who knows when I'll be able to bring myself to do that? I miss my friends here. I really miss Annie and Shane and a whole truckload of others... and I can't help but feeling like I'm abandoning them. I know not all of them hate this place as much as I do, but I can't help feeling like I'm leaving them in the lions' den.

I want out of here. I've had enough. I'm leaving, and that's that. Even if I could stay I wouldn't because I will die if I stay here. These feelings are Shane's fault. That and the past couple days haven't lived up to my expectations at all. My little guilt complex just wont let any of this frustration die. I wish I had more time, but at the same time I'm beyond ready to leave. This house and the people in it have the amazing ability to perfectly prime my irritation just in the nic of time. I consider myself a pretty tolerant person. I can ignore things that bother me for a good while, I can let it slide. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's been 3 weeks and my patience is dwindling. I need to get out of here. I can't wait to get an apartment in Minneapolis. It'll be so nice to start building my own life. I used to be so afraid of it, now I dream about it.

I just feel like there's no time anymore, and though I remember doing things I don't know how it passed so quickly.

... So this is the new year.
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