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I am turning into a girl...

...and I hate it!

Ok...so I really hate myself right now. I feel like such a douche bag. I passed out, literally passed out of blood sugar issues at 11:00 p.m. For 5 hours. How was it? Not cool! I don't really know how it happened, probably the chocolate. Anyway, I woke up horribly jostled, drank about a quart of pink lemonade. After I finally stopped twitching and my blood sugar became stable, I went back to bed and had the worst nightmare EVER. All I wanted to do was revel in the joy of the evening, prior to 9 pm, but it put me in the most foul mood today. I've been cross, paranoid, and insecure the entire day through.

Yesterday, however....

Fantastic Phantom
Well, I was exceedingly nervous prior to going to Matt's. I woke up late, thus didn't get to his house until 12:45, no big deal - I thought. Doesn't start until 2. I get there and Matt isn't even dressed yet. Fine. It's early. Well... We were late. We're always late. Luckily, the usher let us in anyway. However, we went to "School Matinee" apparently and were obscenely over-dressed, which made it that much more fun omg! We got lots of compliments and Matt looked very dashing, if I do say so myself. I told him so, he turned a little red - which was even more charming. Our seats were marvelous, although the chandelier wasn't as impressive from the side as I'm sure it was from directly below. I probably would have shat myself if I saw a 2-ton hunk of metal and bead plummeting toward my head. Still, the show was breathtaking. I was irritated by the actress who played Christine at parts because I really don't care for violent vibratos, but she didn't always use it. Still, I did not want to initiate contact with the Matthew so I spent half of the show wishing that he'd y'know... hold my hand? During the entire first act and most of the second he was leaning oh so close to me, to the point where his head was about a centimeter away from my shoulder. I was amused, but I was most emphatically not going to move that centimeter and be the one to initiate. So about 20 minutes from the end of the show he lets out his beautifully playful exasperated sigh and unceremoniously grabs my hand. Hah! I was thrilled. Afterward there was a q&a session with some of the cast and the two stage managers, so we stuck around for that. We both were really bummed that they didn't make use of the Madison Symphony Orchestra Organ of Sheer Mind-boggling Massiveness & Beauty. However, we made it back to the car after freezing to death omg. It was very charming.

Matt, Mia & Maxx, and Other Assorted Mall Adventures.
We were late to get back to the Mall, because we are always late. Held hands the entire way there though...Anywho, after playing staring-at-you-through-the-mirror-so-you-won't-notice-me-watching-you-oh-shit-you-had-the-same-idea-and-we-can't-stop-this-shy-glancing-nonsense, the evil woman began applying the devil paste to his hair and the bleach was once again eating Matt's scalp off, but this time I was busying myself with looking at new hair-styles in the various books in the salon. She moves him to the old-lady warming helmet and approximately 30 seconds later I hear a whistling and a frantic whispering of my name. So, I peer around the corner and Matt motions me to go thither. I sit across from him and he looks at me quizzically, shakes his head, and pats the chair right next to him. I move to his side, take his hand, and begin to try to distract him from the pain. I sang to him, using his hand as a microphone. He was very amused, if not frightened and a *touch* embarrassed. Either way, it was a ton of fun. His hair still isn't white though, but I didn't think it would get as white as he expected it to. Maybe if he gets struck by lightning, but that's not a risk I'm willing to let him take... hah. Anywho, afterward he went to the restroom and left me outside in my way too formal dress for Phantom let alone the Mall. A be-mulletted member of the janitorial staff commented on my attire, and some maybe-11-year-old gave me the "what's up" nod. I had to try really hard not to break down into a fit of hysterics. I don't know if Matt noticed or understood my semi-suffocated giggles as we left the mall.

Olive Garden and "Dieting"
We were supposed to have gone to dinner directly after the show, however we had to follow the pattern so once again we were late, at least in regard to Matt fulfilling his promise to Travis. Yeeahhhh... we got to the restaurant about a half an hour before Matt was supposed to be back in Deerfield. ha. Ha. HA! Anyway, we took a risk on an entree that we decided to split, because neither of us ever really eats. Plus, they give you so much goddamn food anyway that it'd be ridiculous. Thus, we split some vegetarian something or other that ended up being on the low-fat menu. Our waitress was visibly disappointed, as we were dressed to kill one might assume we were also prepared to eat a small horse. No such luck for her, though I did leave her a 6 dollar tip for our 14 dollar total. Unfortunately, Matt didn't enjoy the entree. Thus, he indulged in the chocolate lasagna which was a whole hell of a lot of sugar. Still, the meal was very charming. I was by the window, and at one point I got very chilled. Matt, being so chivalrous, offered to exchange seats or give me his suit coat. Such a sweetheart is hidden beneath the surface. I'm smirking whilst remembering our teasing one another about the food, Matt doctoring his water, discussing lemons, clothing removal, etc. It was a very charming evening. I'm charmed.

Scenic Routes and Speed Limits
I didn't want to drive home, because I had already slid us into a snowbank, so I asked Matt to do the honors. Not to mention the fact that driving in heels is just plain irritating... ugh. Anyway, Travis was waiting, and Matt's more apt to speed than I as well. Still, we were going to be late, not only that, but Matt decided we were going to take the back roads. Translation: We're going to take the longest way home possible, mmk? I'm down. We'd been listening to sappy songs on my Ipod as well as singing, harmonizing, and chatting amiably with one another. Along the way, a police officer pulls behind us. Matt, in turn, who has been driving the speed limit on the dot like a good respectable citizen for a change (though, he may have been driving the speed limit on the dot in the middle of the road for a good portion of the time...) starts to drive a good 10-15 miles under the speed limit, with the brights on. Unbeknownst to us, we have a headlight out. Nevertheless, I turn to Matt, who is grinning like a maniac. I ask, "are you trying to get pulled over?" He affirms my suspicions, and I laugh. Eventually the cop decides he's had enough and pulls us over, though it took the bastard like 12 minutes to decide to do so, since we weren't technically violating any laws. I have a picture of the lights going ape on my phone. Haha... Matt called Travis during the episode to explain why we're oh so very late. The conversation went something like this...

Travis: Are you back in Deerfield?
Matt: Naw, I'm in Cottage Grove on the side of the road.
Travis: What are you doing there?
Matt: Why do you think I'd be on the side of the road in Cottage Grove?
Travis: You're in the ditch?
Matt: Well, that could be a reason, but not this time. Try again...
Travis: You're making out?
Matt: I would not be on the phone with you if that were happening. Wait, hold on, the officer is coming back...

Anyway, Matt got a warning stating that if the light didn't get fixed within the next 10 days - and yes this needs to be certified by an officer of the law, dun dun dun - he'll get a ticket. My father, very responsive man that he is, fixed it tonight. Now we need a fine law enforcer type person to document it. Still, we took f-o-r-e-v-e-r to get home, obeying the unwritten law that we must, under no circumstance, ever arrive in a punctual fashion. Though, I'm definitely not complaining. ;)

Back at the Home Front
Matt asks me if I'd like to wait at his house while he goes over to visit Travis for about 15 minutes. I should have done it, I wish that I would have. Of course, he then asked if I wanted to drop off my beast of a car. That seemed like a good idea, in lieu of the headlight issue. Plus, I wanted out of that goddamn dress and it was becoming apparent that he was not going to be able to assist me in that department. Grrr. Someday? However, he said that he'd be heading to Shane's around 10 hopefully, and suggested I should join. In retrospect, I think he meant for me to meet him there... but, I'm a dumbass and my parents wouldn't let me with the "car in that state! It's too dangerous!" *ahem* I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, I told him I wanted a hug at least, and he didn't protest. I gave him a little peck and told him that I thoroughly enjoyed the evening, he reciprocated both. As I looked at him after our embrace, he gave me a really quick lightning-peck on the lips and then began to shy away, like always. So I grab him around the waist and tell him that he can do better, snake myself around him, and got my kiss thank you very much. The grin on that kid's face was massive. He tells me I'll get a better kiss later. Tee hee!

CamBRIDGE OF DEATHOMG
This part was a bit of a buzz kill. I came home, changed, and waited. No call, no answer when I called, and I pass out. See beginning of entry for more details.

Today...

Sucked like whoa! I did nothing but work, and it was dead and very unpleasant. I was in a terrible mood because of my nightmare, my phone deleting the missed calls from my passed-out-ness so I couldn't see if Matt called back or not, paranoia about being avoided (I got a hold of him tonight, and he sounded like I had woken him up. He asked me to call him back, but no answer, which I think confirms my assumption. The boy sleeps like a rock.), and I kept having evil flashbacks. Every time my cell phone went off I nearly had a heart attack, as it played a very crucial role in the nightmare of doom. I kind of don't want to go to sleep because of it. If it reoccurs I might have to scream bloody fucking murder, and freak out a little bit. This is the reason I'm an insomniac, I swear. I really want to sleep with Matt, just snuggled up to him. He's so cuddly, warm, reassuring and good-smelling. Hah. I know, Faith. Sho Smitten. Shut up. ;)


In other news...

OMG MY BROTHER HAS NO SENSE OF PUNCTUATION I'M GONNA DIEEEEEEE!! He's really taken with the little inscription above the entrance to Massive-Ethereal-Blob-of-Green-Death Mountain in Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, and has made it into a scrolling marquee on as a screen saver. It reads,

The way is shut it was made by Those who are Dead And the Dead keep it the way is shut.
OW!! Rambling madness, I tell you! I tried changing it but it's password protected.

I have to work at 9 am tomorrow. My sentiments? "You can tell them I'm coming and Hell is coming with me."

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