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Holy Hell!!!

^ Oxy Moron of the day! ^ OH FUCKING YAY! I havent written in here in a LOONG time because of sheer lack of time. And now i have time and i hate it and all i want to do is cry. Now i have to be home. Now i have to acknowledge this hideous atrocity that is my life. I hate every aspect of it. I hate my job, i hate my family, i hate school, i hate homework, i hate this town, i can hardly stand my best friend. I am a head case. Carmen is alright with me only because she is so oblivious to any form of emotion. Kyia is the same way. And i'm okay with Alyssa. But they dont really ask how i feel which in a way makes me both happy and enraged. I love Ellie. She is awesome. and she helps distract me from my own patheticness. And thank god for Foxy, who is just so wacky. And above all, Thank god for Ian. If it wern't for him i'd probably be dead at this moment. Him and the hopes of being with him soon. I just need to find a way up there. My dreams havent been helping my feelings of wanting to escape. My discontentment with my life grows every day. When actually beginning to concider walking to canada, or taking a bus, then hitching a train, seems doable and appealing...you know somethings a little off in your head. Yet, i'd love to do it. Or i could just take a bus.

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May 2013


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